Toxic (The Complete Series): Contemporary Gay Romance Page 5

  My dick hardened under the towel, brushing against the soft material.

  “It’s fine,” I whispered.

  “I wish you’d stop saying that. It doesn’t have to be fine. You don’t have to pretend with me, Liam. I’m not going to judge you—I just want to help you.”

  I swallowed hard, my throat thick with emotion. He wasn’t going to judge me. God, how I wished that were true. But if he knew the truth, would he still feel the same?

  I turned to face him, disbelief warring with hope. And he could see it all on my face.

  “You said you trust me,” he said, eyes searching mine.

  “I did.”

  “Then forget today. Just for now. Let yourself take the night off.”

  He could see the moment I gave in. Then his arms closed around me.

  Chapter 10

  TATE

  Goddammit. I couldn’t help myself. I wasn’t sure if it was because of the way Liam kept going even when life seemed so bleak or if it was because he seemed so innocent despite the shitty hand he’d been dealt.

  Whatever it was, it clawed at me to be there. To be that person in his life who stood by him—because he didn’t seem to have anyone else in his corner right now. Just his family at work.

  And now a boss who’d already gone too far in showing him just how he felt.

  But if Liam could set that aside for tonight, so could I.

  Gently, I cupped Liam’s cheeks in my hands, holding him still so I could press a soft kiss to his cheek, then his jaw. Liam exhaled, his eyes drooping shut. I skimmed my tongue on his lower lip, wanting to taste him slowly.

  Wanting to make this moment last. It had been so long since I’d had my hands and mouth on someone—especially someone I cared about. And Liam meant more to me than I’d realized.

  His hands were still clutching the counter, and the idea that this might be just as out of character for him as it was for me made me even bolder. He clearly wasn’t fighting this any more than I was.

  But I wasn’t going to push him—even if I wanted his hands all over me.

  When I leaned in further, my chest pressed against his, I felt his cock against me and it was like an instant switch of passion.

  Touch me, I wanted to say. Take me to bed. Make me lose myself tonight.

  It was like he heard my thoughts. Liam ran his hands up my chest, his touch more possessive than I expected. I went rock hard, constrained by jeans I wished I wasn’t wearing. I wanted to be as free as Liam, this close to being naked so our bodies could press together flesh against flesh.

  He used his good hand to slide under my shirt, fingers flexing against the muscle, smoothing on my pecs. His finger brushed one of my nipples and even that simple motion was as erotic as hell. Fuck, I needed of him.

  As our tongue slid against each other’s, I reached down to his towel, touching the edge.

  He startled, and I yanked back. I blinked. “What? Is this—I mean—”

  “No, it’s not—” He lowered his chin, eyes focused on a button on my shirt. “It’s not you. I just don’t…” Two spots of color appeared on his cheeks. “I’m just not…very experienced.”

  I breathed out, more relieved than I realized. I didn’t know what I’d thought he was going to say. That he didn’t want this—that he didn’t know for sure if he was gay. That this was his first time touching a man. But no, it was just inexperience.

  Hell, hadn’t we all been there? Liam was a handful of years younger than me—and shy. It made sense he hadn’t been with many men.

  “I want this,” he told me, voice hoarse. “I just haven’t…”

  To spare him further embarrassment, I kissed him hard and then whispered in his ear, “We won’t do anything you’re not comfortable with. Just tell me—communicate with me. Or I can let you take the lead.”

  He gave a choked laugh that was endearing. “Take the lead. Yeah, I…”

  “What do you want?” I asked, seeing the hunger in his eyes. “Something simple.”

  “I want your shirt off.”

  The strength in his words surprised me. I nodded immediately, reaching for the buttons on my shirt.

  But his hands collided with mine. “Let me.”

  Fuck, that was hot. But everything Liam did was hot. It was like this was his first time exploring, and it absolutely turned me on. I wanted him to take the lead because I wanted him to be comfortable. But when he glanced up through those eyelashes and bit his lip, I wanted to yank him against me and devour his mouth before I threw him on my bed and buried myself in him, sliding into his hot, tight hole and making him come before I lost myself as well.

  I gritted my teeth. Patience.

  Liam undid each button with almost painstaking precision, like he was trying to make this last as long as possible. Once it was finished, he slid his hands over my chest, fingers running through the short blond hairs.

  His tongue darted out to lick his lips and I couldn’t take it anymore. I surged forward, taking his mouth with mine. I shoved my tongue inside, desperate for that connection. My mind was going crazy, filled with images of him underneath me, plastered against me. I processed every breath he took, the racing of his heart against mine, the soft brush of his fingers grazing my sensitive skin.

  When I reached for his towel this time, he didn’t flinch, just continued to touch me. His tongue pressed against mine, like we were fighting a war we both wanted to win.

  His towel fell to the floor. As much as I wanted to look at him, I wanted to keep him against me, body as close as possible. I didn’t want to break this moment, to scare him.

  His cock curved up to my hand, thick and pulsing. I leaked pre-cum into my boxers, practically ready to come just by touching him. By feeling how aroused he was and how he was responding to me.

  “Fuck, you’re so hot,” I murmured, changing the angle of the kiss.

  I gripped him at the base of his cock and tugged slowly. His body jerked against mine, a groan escaping.

  “Is this okay?” I asked.

  I felt him swallow, felt his quick nod, and smiled. I’d make him come standing right here. So I could see his face. So I could feel his body tense against mine. So I catch him when he fell apart.

  I’d pictured this moment before. Having my hands on him, then my mouth. Feeling him convulse around me.

  I kissed his cheek and then his jaw, making my way down to his shoulder as I slowly pumped his cock. He leaked from the tip and I used that as lube so I could move my hand faster.

  He gasped, his breath tickling my cheek. “Just relax,” I murmured. “Hold onto me.”

  His hands gripped my shoulders like a vise as the tension build. Holy hell, how was this turning me on so much? He was barely even touching me, and I was practically breaking down.

  “Yes,” he whispered, voice so quiet, I could barely hear it. I made it my mission from there to make him yell my name.

  “More?”

  His lips parted and he licked them, eyes squeezed shut tight. “Yes, keep going.”

  I looked down for the first time, watching my hand wrap around his magnificent cock. Shit, he was huge, engorged and ready to explode. I was so close to dropping to my knees and sucking him off. But I still didn’t want to take things to far, for him to be uncomfortable.

  “Oh, god,” he choked out, body tensing.

  I pumped my hand faster, stroking him at a perfect rhythm, just enough to make his whole body tighten, his fingers squeeze. And then I tightened my grip just slightly, squeezing at the head of his cock.

  His breath caught, fingers dug into my shoulders, and then he was clinging to me as his body shook and he squirted against my hand, emptying himself against me. His body continued to shudder even when there was nothing left, and I just held him until his grip loosened and his breath released.

  “Fuck,” he whispered against my ear. “That…”

  He didn’t finish, but when I pulled back, I saw his smile. Relief flooded me. It hadn’t been too much fo
r him, and it was the best thing in the world to feel him crumble because of what I was doing to him. That he trusted me enough to let me do that.

  “Oh, shit,” he said, looking at his hand.

  Blood soaked through the damp bandage and ran down his hand. I took it and held it in my palm. “No problem. We’ll get you a dry bandage. It’s fine.”

  He nodded, finally relaxed even though there were shadows under his eyes. “It’s fine.”

  Chapter 11

  LIAM

  I didn’t sleep in the spare room. Once I’d sat on the couch to let Tate bandage my hand, freshly dressed in a pair of his sweats, I’d felt the exhaustion take over. When he’d said he had to make some calls and told me to relax, I’d fallen asleep where I was.

  It was the first time in weeks I’d felt relaxed enough to sleep all night. The first time I felt safe.

  Humming sounded from somewhere in the apartment, and when my eyes came into focus the next morning, I spotted Tate in the kitchen. He wore a flannel shirt that had seen better days and a pair of dark jeans with rips.

  Holy shit. He was so hot without even trying. And so at ease with life. That was the thing I noticed about him above all. That nothing seemed to faze him. Nothing except those guys at the club last night.

  Tate glanced over to find me staring at him. My cheeks heated, and I grabbed a pillow, squeezing it against my chest.

  “Morning,” he said, a slight drawl to his voice that went straight to my groin. “Coffee?”

  I watched as he poured a mug before I could even answer. My brain did not work that well in the morning, especially after waking up disoriented on an unfamiliar couch. And then it all came back to me. Particularly the part in the bathroom, Tate’s strong fingers wrapped around my cock, jerking me off to the best orgasm I’d had in my life.

  Tate brought the coffee to me and handed it over.

  “Thanks. Do you always get up this early?” I asked, warming my hands on the mug.

  “I thought you might want coffee. And I have some bagels.”

  Meaning he probably normally slept in late, but he’d gotten up early to tend to me. “You really didn’t have to.”

  Tate sat on the coffee table across from me. “I wanted to. How did you sleep?”

  “Better than I have in a while,” I admitted.

  His eyes grew serious. “I’m glad. You needed it—and before you start telling me how you should go because you’re imposing, just listen. I want you to feel safe. My place is yours for as long as you need it.”

  I still opened my mouth to argue. Tate was too kind for his own good.

  But he only smiled. “And I want you here.”

  Oh. Well, that was an entirely different thing.

  Tate pointed to my phone on the table. “It kept buzzing. I think someone was trying to get ahold of you.”

  I snatched the phone off the table, my stomach dropping. What if something had happened to my dad? Or…those guys had come back?

  I saw three texts from Bea. Are you okay? This was last night after I’d left early. And this morning, two more. Please just text me so I know you’re not hurt and Your dad was here looking for you last night.

  The blood drained from my cheeks. Shit. My dad was looking for me. Probably because I hadn’t been home two nights in a row. Or maybe he needed money. Or maybe he’d heard about the guys at the bar last night. Not that he’d care if something happened to me. He’d just be disappointed he didn’t have my contributing paycheck anymore.

  “What is it?” Tate asked, leaning forward.

  “I…it’s Bea.”

  “What happened?”

  Did I dare involve him any more? Tate shouldn’t have to deal with my problems. But his eyes softened, lines of concern furrowing his brow. He reached out and set a supportive hand on my leg, his fingers warm through the soft material.

  “It was Bea. She said my dad came to the bar last night.”

  Tate’s jaw shifted. “Why?”

  “I don’t know. He…” I blew out a breath and met his eyes. I had to tell Tate the truth. He’d already helped me out so much, he deserved to know what was going on. “He was probably looking for money.”

  I sipped the coffee, then forced myself to continue before he could say anything. “I still live there with him. It—it just made sense after my mom died. I mean, it was my fault.”

  Tate switched spots so he was sitting next to me on the couch. He silently took my hand, encouraging me to continue.

  “She…” I swallowed. “She was sick since I was a kid. But it got worse when I was a teenager. I went to school and then came home every day to take care of her while my dad was at work—or wherever he went. But—but then there was this boy…” I still remembered the first time he touched me. The first time I knew I liked boys instead of girls. Not just thought it, but really knew. Because of his touch. “He was the first one I liked—no, I thought I loved him. And he—we went to his house that afternoon. I told myself it would just be an hour and then I’d go home. But…” My cheeks heated. “It was the first time I’d kissed a boy. And the way he touched me…” I shrugged. I didn’t need to go into details. “We didn’t have sex, but we were close. And by the time I got home…”

  I shook my head, setting aside the coffee.

  “It’s okay,” Tate said, putting his arm around me. “It’s not your fault.”

  “It is. If I had been there, I could have called the police or—or—” I wasn’t sure. But she wouldn’t have ended up in the hospital.

  “If she was that sick…” Tate angled his head, his eyes meeting mine. “You didn’t do anything wrong. And your dad shouldn’t have relied on you to take care of her every single day.”

  “He said it was my fault. That what I’d been doing—visiting that boys house—was sick and wrong.”

  Tate’s eyes darkened. “Nothing about your feelings was wrong. You were learning who you really are—a person I admire and respect.”

  I exhaled. “You don’t really know me.”

  “I do,” Tate insisted. “You’re compassionate and you take the world on your shoulders and you try to make things right. I’m sure your mom would be proud of you.”

  I leaned and kissed him hard, loving that he was so accepting of me. That he believed the best in me.

  He cupped my cheek in his hand. “I’ve had feelings for you for a while.”

  I kissed him again. “Me too. Feelings I’ve never felt before. That boy in school…he was just a crush. And there was only one other after him. We didn’t—I mean, we weren’t together either. I—I felt too guilty.”

  “Are you saying you’re a virgin?” he asked, pupils dilating.

  I ducked my chin. “God, I know. It sounds horrible. And I shouldn’t care what my dad thought, right? I’m a grown man—”

  “Who was told he was wrong by the one person who was supposed to support him. Fuck your dad. He’s the one who got you into that mess last night, isn’t he?” When I didn’t answer, he gripped my hand. “Isn’t he, Liam?”

  “Yes.”

  He cursed, glancing around like he was looking for something. His phone maybe—or something to punch. “What a dick.”

  I had to laugh. No one had ever called my dad a dick before even though I’d thought the words a thousand times. “I agree completely.” I ventured another glance at him. “So you don’t care that…I mean, I told you that I was inexperienced.”

  His eyes locked on mine. “No. I don’t care. I appreciate that you trust me as much as you do—as much as you did yesterday, to let me touch you like that.”

  “I wanted to.” I swallowed, trying to find courage deep inside me to go for what I wanted. “I want…”

  “What do you want?” he asked quietly.

  “I want you.”

  Chapter 12

  TATE

  My blood rushed through my veins, traveling to my cock and making it swell against my jeans. Liam was bringing me to my fucking knees. He’d confided in me abou
t something he probably hadn’t told anyone else. And now he was telling me how he felt. That he had feelings for me for longer than I knew. That he wanted me.

  “I’m yours,” I told him. “Whatever you want—whenever you want. I’m yours.”

  His lips parted. I meant it. I’d hold him, I’d touch him, I’d let him take the lead. I was more experienced than Liam and I wanted to make sure these moments where he tried so many new things were perfect for him.

  “I just…” His gaze flicked to my lips—then lower. “I just want to taste you.”

  My cock went rock hard. Liam’s mouth on me, sucking me off? Fuck, yes.

  I eased him into it with a kiss, my tongue tracing his bottom lip until he groaned. He shifted against me and my hand brushed his middle, the hard length I wanted to touch again. I wanted to feel it against me and then watch him come again when I pumped into his tight hole. But patience. I could still be patient with Liam—especially knowing this was all new to him.

  His hands went to the button on my jeans, and I shifted my hips so he could take off my pants, removing my boxers with it.

  Liam’s eyes lowered and then widened when he saw my dick. Could he see it pulsing? See how badly I wanted him? He licked his lips, nearly killing me.

  Then his gaze came up, locking on mine with something like question in them. Like he was asking permission to touch me.

  “Do whatever you want,” I whispered, taking his hand and guiding it to me.

  He exhaled and bit his lip this time. I closed my eyes. If he kept doing that, I was going to lose all self-control.

  “Lay down,” he said.

  I obeyed, reclining on the couch, keeping my hands on the cushions when they wanted to reach out and pull him on top of me.

  He knelt next to me, and to my surprise, he leaned in to kiss me.

  “Thank you for being patient with me,” he said.