Until You (Toxic #1): M/M Contemporary Romance Read online

  UNTIL YOU

  (Toxic Book 1)

  UNTIL YOU

  Copyright © 2019 Kensie King

  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED: The unauthorized reproduction, transmission, or distribution of any part of this copyrighted work is illegal. Criminal copyright infringement is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by up to five years in federal prison and a fine of $250,000.

  This literary work is fiction. Any name, places, characters and incidents are the products of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or establishments is solely coincidental. Please respect the author and do participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials that would violate the author’s rights.

  Table of Contents

  Summary

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Summary

  LIAM

  Toxic isn’t like any bar out there. For one, it’s housed in an old firehouse. Two, all the employees are like family. Also, there’s the mega-hot owner, Tate Porter. I’ve been in love with him since I started working here, but I can’t do anything about it. Especially because he knows nothing about me—and it’s better that way. Safer for everyone. But that doesn’t stop me from wanting him. Everything about him makes me long for him, long for someone who knows me inside and out. But how can someone like him truly love someone like me?

  TATE

  My bar is my life and my employees are my family. All except Liam West. I can’t see him as family when I want to see him as something else. Mine. But Liam has endless secrets behind his eyes and a quiet nature I don’t want to disturb. Until I learn his secret. Now I’ll fight to be with him and fight for him with everything I have.

  Chapter 1

  LIAM

  I cursed when the back door squeaked as I pulled it open. Shit. I hope no one had heard that. Typically the bar was so packed full of bodies and voices, most people never heard a peep. But since it was Thursday, the day we always had our afternoon meetings, the bar wouldn’t open until five. Just in time for everyone to come and drown their sorrows.

  I wished I could do the same with mine.

  I’d never seen my dad so bad—so high on drugs and so wasted he couldn’t even stand. That was the only thing my dad understood these days. Drugs.

  And I needed to leave. I swore to myself every time he got like that I would. I was twenty-three. It was about time I had my own place. But Dad had a way of holding things over my head that made me feel like I owed him. I knew I owed my mom—she was the one person who’d accepted me fully as I was. But I’d let her down, too, and then she’d died.

  The memory of her always hit me at the worse times. Like when I was supposed to be working.

  Instead, I was sneaking in late and hoping my bosses didn’t notice. I hated being late.

  Voices rose from around the bar as I snuck into the room. Shit. They were all here, already in the middle of the meeting. Bea saw me, and her eyes widened. Where were you? she mouthed.

  I didn’t even have time to shrug before one of my bosses, Mason, spotted me.

  “Liam,” he said, eyes narrowing. “Nice of you to join us.”

  I shoved my glasses up on my nose and tried a half-smile as I hurried to the seat next to Bea. I felt eyes on me the entire way—eyes that no doubt belonged to the rest of the group as well as my other boss. Tate Porter.

  The quiet one. That’s what Bea called him. The brooding, sexy as hell, full of angst bartender/owner who’d given me a job six months ago when I was down on my luck. And since then I’d only heard rumors about his tragic past. How he’d lost the love of his life. How he couldn’t get over him.

  Every time I saw him, I wanted to wrap my arms around him and tell him it would be okay. But what the hell did I know? My life wasn’t okay, and it certainly didn’t look to be getting better anytime soon.

  “What the hell happened to you?” Bea asked in a hushed tone, her eyes scanning my face.

  I turned away from her, my hand automatically coming up to brush against my swollen lip. Fuck. I’d forgotten about how bad it probably looked now. I winced. And how bad it hurt.

  Bea gripped my arm hard as the meeting continued around us. “What happened?”

  “It’s nothing—”

  “Did that bastard hit you?” her voice rose with each word, making Mason stop speaking up front and causing everyone to turn.

  “Sorry,” we both mumbled at the same time.

  The meeting went back into session, but I still felt eyes on me from up front. When I looked back to our bosses, I met Tate’s strong and steady gaze. His eyes were hooded under eyebrows that creased in the middle with concern.

  Bea followed my gaze, then snapped her attention back to me.

  But I couldn’t look away. Just his simple stare sapped my energy, left me breathless. There was so much in his eyes I wanted to question. So much I wanted to talk to him about—to know. I never said a word though. I hadn’t in the past and I probably never would.

  Tate Porter was unapproachable—at least to me. I mean, come on—the guy was my boss. He was at least five inches taller than me, four or five years older. Experienced. Worldly. Sexy as fuck. God, I couldn’t even hold his gaze without practically setting on fire.

  “Holy shit,” Bea whispered, keeping her voice low enough, I had to lean over to hear her.

  And look away from Tate.

  “What?” I asked.

  “He was staring at you.”

  I shook my head automatically. “He wasn’t.”

  “He was.”

  “No way.”

  “Yes way,” she argued. “Like, full on stare down the sexy love interest—”

  “Shh!” I clamped my hand over Bea’s mouth, grateful we were sitting at the back of the group. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  Mason raised his voice, clearly trying to get our attention. “It’s summer—traffic’s going to pick up. And now that we have live music on Thursdays in addition to Fridays and Saturdays, plan on it being a full house. Once we see how Thursday’s go, we’ll assess and see if we need to modify our hours.”

  Even Mason talked like he had experience. But then, the rumors about him were a lot more widespread. He and Tate had met years ago, bonded, traveled the world, apparently. They were like brothers. And Mason had a reputation for being a player.

  “Any questions?” Mason asked.

  Tate folded his arms and let his gaze wander the crowd, skimming over me just a little longer than the others before he moved on.

  Bea was squirming in her seat next to me, hardly able to keep her mouth shut. Once we were dismissed, she dragged me down the back hallway toward the bathrooms. She tugged me inside the woman’s restroom and spun around to face me.

  I rolled my eyes. “Dramatic tonight, aren’t you?”

  “You’re the one getting eyeballed by Tate Porter. Tate Porter.” She sagged against the counter. “You know how many men—or even women—would die to have him look their way. God, those sexy eyes. And his muscles. And…”

  She went on to describe just about every feature, muscle, and other extremity on Tate that I’d already noticed a billion times. Yes, Tate was sexy. Outrageously sexy. But he was my boss.

  “And he was staring at yo
u,” Bea finished. She turned to check her hair in the mirror, a shaggy pixie cut that suited her small features. “I think he wants you.”

  “Bea.”

  “No joke. He looks at you like that all the time.”

  “Like what?” I asked, staring at her reflection in the mirror. I wanted to deny what she was saying but the other part of me wanted desperately for it to be true.

  “Like he wants to devour you.”

  My dick twitched. Devour. That sounded so…intimate. Rough. Necessary. Like dragging yourself through the desert to finally find a cup of water. You’d die without it.

  I set my hand over my heart as it started to pick up speed. “You’re making me hot,” I joked, trying to make light of what she was saying.

  Bea gave me a light shove. “You are hot. But not my type.”

  I turned to the door, ready to get to work, but Bea jumped in front of me.

  “One more thing.”

  My stomach dropped. I didn’t want to talk to be about why I was late. Or why I had a split lip I’d tried fairly unsuccessfully to ice and then cover up.

  “Did he do this to you?” she asked, eyes dropping to my mouth.

  “No.”

  “Be honest.”

  I tried to give her a smile, but when it made my mouth ache, I gave her a hug instead. “I swear, it wasn’t him.”

  Not this time. No, this time it was someone worse.

  “But Liam…” Bee’s voice dipped in concern. She was the only one who knew the truth about my shitty life. I loved her for trying to protect me and take care of me, but things were too bad for that now.

  “Come on,” I told her. “Let’s get to work and you can talk to me all about Tate’s generous…assets.”

  Her eyes lit again. “I’m so bummed he’s gay! Maybe I could turn him—you know, with some slow kisses in the dark and a very low-cut shirt.”

  I swallowed down laughter. “I’d like to see you try. But then I’d be jealous, so maybe try that on someone else this time.”

  She smiled at me as we left the women’s room. “For you, Liam. Anything.”

  Chapter 2

  TATE

  I knew my crew would hold things together tonight even though the band brought in dozens more people than we expected. More than even Mason expected—and he was the brain and business behind all this.

  Toxic.

  It hadn’t been a dream so much as an idea fueled by copious amounts of alcohol and the desire to forget our shared woes by creating something new. By showing the haters that we could be bigger and better than anyone ever imagined.

  I grinned to myself as I walked to the office in back to store some money in the safe. Okay, so we weren’t exactly changing the world in huge ways, but we were still changing lives in little ways.

  Every time someone came into the bar with the same kinds of woes me and Mason had founded this bar on, they got something to forget their troubles and maybe a little advice. Life was Toxic. I knew that without a doubt. My history had shoved it in my face repeatedly. So coming to Toxic gave people a night to drown their sorrows before they fought back. Also, our employees were like family, all of them needing jobs and needing to be part of something their personal lives couldn’t give them.

  The bar was making a difference whether it looked like that to those on the outside or not.

  I twirled the dial on the safe, waited for the beep, and then tossed the zipper bag full of money inside.

  With a sigh, I remembered the first night I saw Liam West. If anyone had needed a job, it had been young Liam. The man who looked like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. The man I couldn’t seem to stop thinking about. Dreaming about.

  I always did have a soft spot for the underdog—and that was how I couldn’t help but picture Liam. The man was quiet, soft-spoken—at least around me, and always on time.

  I frowned. Except for tonight.

  I sat at the desk in the office, making a tent of my fingers under my chin. My gut told me something was wrong. Liam had looked upset. Rushed. And I swore I saw shadows under the man’s eyes.

  Or maybe it was a bruise…my jaw clenched. If anyone had done anything to Tate, I wouldn’t hesitate to take them down.

  Bea. I stood from the desk. She was Liam’s best friend. I could ask her—just sort of bring it about casually while we worked. Just so it wasn’t obvious.

  After all, I knew nothing about the man and it wasn’t like we’d ever spent any time together. Much to my regret. But I was the boss and I tried to be friendly without overstepping the bounds.

  And with Liam, I knew I had to be extra cautious. It wouldn’t take much for me to overstep those bounds—to grab Liam and pull him into the office. To cup his face in between my hands and kiss him until the world dropped away around us. To get Liam to confide in me, to trust me.

  Maybe even love me.

  I swallowed hard. No. Last time I’d let myself fall in love like that, my heart was torn clean in two. I wasn’t sure if I could risk it again. Especially not with one of my employees.

  Still…wouldn’t hurt to make sure Liam was doing okay.

  The office door opened just as I reached for it. My breath hissed out in surprise.

  Mason grinned at me. “Surprised you, huh? You’re not the only one who’s jumpy tonight.”

  “You didn’t—” I broke off and changed the direction of the conversation. Sometimes Mason was too perceptive for his own good. “Who else is jumpy?”

  “West. I swear his face went white when I came around the corner and bumped into him.”

  My heart clenched. His face went white? What the hell? Something was definitely going on.

  “Just thought you might want to know,” Mason said, his familiar grin still plastered on his face.

  “Why’s that?”

  Mason shrugged. “It’s kind of obvious.”

  I shifted toward the door, already knowing where this conversation was going, but still trying to play dumb.

  “You can’t keep your eyes off of him.” Mason shook his head before I could protest. “Don’t try to deny it. We’ve all seen it.”

  Who had seen it? Surely not everyone else he worked with? He hadn’t been that obvious, had he? Of course he watched Liam sometimes. When no one else was looking. When he thought maybe he might be ready to try something again, to leave the past and take a step with someone new.

  But then he’d get his head on straight and forget about it—at least, he’d try.

  “You always go for the underdog,” Mason said, the exact same thing I had been thinking about myself just moments ago.

  “I don’t—fuck, Mason. I’m not going for anything—or anyone.”

  “Why not? He’s cute. He’s a good worker. He’s…” Mason lifted a shoulder. “Totally not my type. But he’d be perfect for you.”

  I clenched my jaw. That was the exact opposite of what I wanted to hear. I wanted Mason to talk some sense into me. To make me stop lusting over Liam, not make me want the man even more.

  “He’s an employee,” I said, yanking the door open. Suddenly irritated.

  Mason followed me down the hall, the music from the band getting louder as we walked. “Rules are meant to be broken.”

  I rolled my eyes and gestured to the bar. “It’s getting busy—I’m going to help out.”

  Mason hollered something after me I didn’t bother question. Probably something else about how rules were the bane of his existence. That he didn’t get where he was in his life by following the rules.

  I knew all too well why Mason laughed in the face of rules. Because he’d been burned by rules in the past. He’d thought being faithful to his partner was what he was supposed to do. Too bad his partner hadn’t agreed.

  I knew Liam was around here somewhere, but I kept professional. The group of girls at the end of the bar wanted shots of tequila. Done. Blonde with the huge breasts and eyes for the lead singer of the bad—cranberry and vodka. I scanned her face briefly to keep
it in mind. Her eyes were already blurry, and I had a feeling she was headed toward trying to forget this night ever existed.

  No problem. The cab company was always around this time of night, to get everyone home safely.

  I turned around and grazed elbows with someone.

  “Sorry.” I heard the quiet voice before I could say anything.

  I glanced up, my own apology dying on my tongue. Liam. His hair was tousled, a few strands feathering over his forehead. His glasses slid down on his nose, cute round metal rims that reminded me of a librarian. My gaze automatically dropped to his lips and…

  Shit. What was that? On his lip?

  He’d managed to make most of the swelling go away, but I could still easily see the split where he’d clearly been hit. I reached for his arm, instantly concerned.

  “Liam—what happened? Are you—”

  “It’s fine.” He glanced away, eyes darting around the crowd. “I—I slipped on the stairs. It—”

  “An ice pack,” I said, my hand still on his arm. “We can find one and get this taken care of.”

  Liam gave a nervous laugh. “It’s fine. Completely fine. I’m just embarrassed. I—” He gently pulled away from my grasp. “Really, I’m fine. It’s busy.”

  The noise had picked up around us, but I hadn’t noticed any of it. Not when I saw Liam’s split lip. And Mason had said he was jumpy.

  My stomach twisted. No, I didn’t believe his story that he’d fallen. And even so, I wanted to help him. I wanted…

  As Liam turned back to the glasses, I pulled myself together. It wasn’t any of my business. I kept trying to remind myself of that.

  But again, the employees were like family and if one of them was hurting or in trouble, it weighed on me.

  No worries. I’d just keep an eye on Liam—from a distance. And when I was sure he was okay, I’d forget about my feelings all over again and we could both get on with our lives.

  Chapter 3

  LIAM

  They’d announced last call thirty minutes ago, which meant my shift was almost over. And then came the tricky part. My stomach churned with nerves. I had to make look like I was leaving when I was actually planning on hiding in the storage room.