Save Me (Savior Series): Contemporary Gay Romance Read online

  “Hi.”

  His eyes narrowed. Then they dropped to my phone. “What’s wrong?”

  “It’s nothing.” I kept smiling. “Just a family thing.”

  “Family?”

  “My, uh…my mom. I need to go—help her with something.”

  He set the laptop on the bed. “You’re lying to me.”

  My mouth dropped open. “What? Preston.”

  He breathed in deep and then released it. “What can I do to help?”

  “Nothing,” I said immediately, turning for my clothes. “I just…I need to go visit her.”

  Preston didn’t need to know about my fucked-up family, and how my mom had been on medication since her mid-twenties. How I feared every day I’d end up like her. Crazy. Alone. Locked away forever.

  As I pulled on a T-shirt, he watched me with wary eyes. No doubt wondering why I was being so vague. Or maybe even wondering if I was lying to him outright. And I was. I didn’t need to go visit my mom—I’d be happy if I never had to see her again.

  But I had to go clean up her mess. And that was something I felt like I’d be doing the rest of my life.

  “I still want to work today, and I can put in a few hours before I go if you need me to. Otherwise—”

  “No. You should take care of what you need to.”

  I turned to him, didn’t miss the confusion in his eyes. But he didn’t say a word.

  “Are you coming back?” he asked instead.

  “Of course. I mean, I said I’d take those pictures, right?”

  “I don’t mean for work.”

  “Oh.” I shoved my legs into a pair of jeans. The rest of the clothes Preston had given me were folded and set on a chair by his dresser. I wasn’t sure where to put them.

  In fact, right now I wasn’t sure where I belonged.

  I glanced up at him, trying to give a smile I hoped was reassuring, though I had no idea what the rest of my day looked like. “I don’t know. I…” I turned around, searching for shoes. “It’s—I don’t know how long she’s going to need me.”

  “Stone can go with you.”

  “No!”

  His jaw shifted at my sudden outburst.

  “I mean, you probably need him here, right? And like I said, I have no idea how long I’m going to be.”

  “It’s safer this way.”

  My heart softened some, and I walked over, touching his cheek. “I’ll be fine.”

  He grabbed my hand, pulling me close. Even though his chiseled face looked as dangerous as ever, I could still see the compassion in his eyes. That and something else.

  Fear.

  “I don’t like you being out there alone.”

  “I can’t stay in here forever,” I whispered.

  I realized my mistake the instant I said it. Preston did stay in here. Permanently. This was his life. In his safe space. And he wanted me to stay here with him.

  He didn’t speak for a long moment, and I had no idea what to say to him.

  My mom had spent days upon end locked in our house. I almost went crazy myself because of it. No. No, not crazy—and I wouldn’t let myself think about that.

  But it was still there anyway, haunting my thoughts day in and day out. What if I ended up like her?

  Preston didn’t know this secret part of me, and I wasn’t about to tell him now.

  He stepped away, breaking our connection. “Let me know if you’re not going to make it back for work.”

  “I will.”

  He walked away without another word. Without a kiss. Damn it. He was upset. But what was I supposed to do? There was still so much we didn’t know about each other. It would take time.

  Not only that, it would take trust. And no matter how much I wanted to believe I completely trusted Preston, I knew I didn’t.

  #

  “Whiskey.”

  Ryan set the glass in my hand before he sat on the couch next to me. Outside the wall of windows, the night was settling over the city. The lights from the buildings twinkled like stars. It was hard to remember sometimes that there were millions of people out there, living their lives, just like I was.

  I’d been secluded up here for so long, with only Stone and my cameras and paintings for company that the world felt like a very, very small place.

  And then…Eric.

  It fucked with my head how much he’d changed my world in such a short time. I’d been watching him for months but having him with me in the penthouse was like rejoining the world. Which was why I kept checking my phone every ten minutes, afraid I’d missed his call. Afraid he might not call at all.

  “You’ve got it bad.” Ryan crossed one leg over the other and quirked the corner of her lips. “You haven’t stopped looking at your phone all night. You let him into your suite!”

  “I’m aware of that, thank you,” I growled.

  I didn’t need a recap of what had already gone on these last few days. I needed Eric to pick up the damn phone and call me.

  “Then what are you so pissy about?” he asked.

  I was worried about him, that’s what. And I was worried about us—especially since us had barely just started. I gritted my teeth and shook my head. I couldn’t explain it to Ryan.

  “You barely know the guy, right? I mean, you met each other…how many days ago?”

  “It’s not like that. He’s worked at the store for months. I’ve seen him down there. I know who he is.”

  Ryan leaned forward on the couch, studying my face. “Do you really?”

  “I do.”

  He downed his whiskey and set the glass on the table in front of him. “I can’t argue with infatuation—”

  “Damn it, Ryan. That’s not what this is.”

  “Love at first sight?”

  “Fuck.” But I couldn’t deny it. I was already so lost in Eric I couldn’t get him off my mind. I’d been lost in him for months. “He’s…different. He reminds me of…”

  “Brian?” Ryan said softly.

  I nodded. “And before you say anything, that’s not why I’m interested—or not only why. But something about him is innocent, trusting. He’s not like the rest of those fuckers out there.”

  Ryan gave me a smile, a soft one, one that said he understood. And he did. He was the only one. “They’re not all like that. You’d see that if you worked on—”

  “No.” I stood. “I’m not—I can’t go out there. Not right now.”

  “But—”

  “Shit. Ryan. You can’t force this on me. It’s not time.”

  He only stared up at me as if to say, When will it be time? I’d been up here for longer than I planned, justifying it the entire time with the idea that one day I’d get back to the world. I just needed to heal first. But really, deep down, I knew I never really wanted to see the outside again.

  Ryan stood and set his hand on my arm. “I’m not trying to force anything on you. I just want to see you get back to how things were. And Eric…well, there might come a day when he’s going to want you to get out, too. There’s a whole world out there—a world he lives in.”

  I threw back the rest of my whiskey, pretending I didn’t hear him. But the thought had occurred to me more than once. I hadn’t even been able to leave the house to save him from those thugs on the street. What was going to happen the next time he needed me?

  My phone rang, and I yanked it from my pocket. Eric’s name flashed across the screen.

  Ryan grinned at me. “See? There he is. I’ll let myself out.”

  I nodded at him and watched as he got in the elevator. I answered the call. “Eric.”

  “Hi.”

  His voice sounded small. Tired. Far away. “Are you okay?”

  “Yes. It was a long day.” He sighed, and I heard something that sounded like keys. House keys, maybe?

  “Where are you?”

  “Home.”

  My stomach clenched. I’d expected him back here tonight. But why? It wasn’t like we lived together. I might feel like I�
��d known him for years—especially after watching his every move on the cameras—but he didn’t know me.

  “I need some time to think,” Eric said. “Alone.”

  Damn it. Think about what? Why couldn’t he think here?

  “And the job?” I asked.

  He was silent a moment. “I need to think about that, too. Can I have a day?”

  Shit. I needed him for the job. I wanted him for me. Or maybe…it was the other way around. But I already knew Eric was under my skin and I didn’t know how to fix it—or if I even wanted to.

  “It’s not you,” he said, sounding guilty like it really was me. “I have stuff going on outside of this…us…and…”

  “You can talk to me.”

  “Maybe one day,” he said. “Goodnight, Preston.”

  He ended the call before I could argue. Before I could convince him otherwise. Damn it! If he was here, I could talk to him. But he was at home—and it might as well be halfway around the world.

  I walked to the window, staring in the direction of his apartment. I could be there in ten minutes. I could knock on his front door and pull him into my arms when I saw him. I could brush his hair off his forehead, get him to open up, and then help him leave his worries behind while I made love to him in her bed.

  I jerked away from the window and cursed. This wasn’t the first time I’d wished things were different, but it was the first time I realized they’d have to change or my life might as well be over.

  CHAPTER TEN

  I was still raw from my confrontation with my mom yesterday. She’d yelled at me, told me I was a horrible son, and reminded me that I was going to turn out just like her. I’d been too traumatized to go back to Preston’s place afterward. He’d see straight through me.

  And how was I supposed to tell him I was scared as hell about ending up like her? How was I supposed to tell him that fear had me avoiding relationships my whole life?

  That wasn’t something he wanted to hear considering I was sure he was interested in more than something casual.

  But still, despite all that, I couldn’t stay away. I needed a rock right now, and Preston could be that rock. So, I let myself relax, get a good night of sleep, and then took it easy the next morning. By the time I’d convinced myself I could see him again, it was nearly evening, but I was ready. I’d showered and taken my time getting ready, adding some cologne that I knew he’d enjoy before I left the apartment.

  I was nervous when I rode up in the elevator for some reason, but when the doors opened and Preston was there, my nerves vanished. Not only that, I couldn’t help but walk straight for him.

  “Eric,” he said, surprise in his voice. But his arms closed tightly around me. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.” Everything. “I just…I missed you.”

  I didn’t have a moment to regret the admission because he leaned back and kissed me on the lips. “I missed you, too. I didn’t think I was going to see you until tomorrow.”

  “I needed to get out. And I wanted to see you.”

  He shoulders relaxed, dropping a load of stress I didn’t realize he was carrying. I wanted to ask him what was wrong, but then I figured he’d in turn ask me and right now…right now all I wanted to do was be close to him.

  To forget.

  “I need a distraction,” I said, breathing in deep at the smell of his cologne on his neck.

  “I have just the thing.”

  He took my hand and pulled me to the studio. He’d moved things around—organized—and now there was one solo canvas on an easel in the middle. He’d done a background, but it was missing something in front.

  “Let me paint you,” he said.

  I pulled my hand from his. “No, that’s probably not a good idea.”

  “I need to, Eric. Ever since I first saw you—”

  “That was only a couple of days ago.”

  He lowered his chin, looking like he was struggling with something. “Not a couple of days.”

  “Yes, it was. It—oh…the cameras?” I laughed. “You were watching Monica because you thought she was stealing, right? I’m sure I was on the cameras, too…”

  “I found out about Monica because I was watching you.”

  My throat dried. “What do you mean?”

  “I’ll be back.”

  He left the room before I could stop him. Fine. I’d wait. I needed answers.

  I stepped closer to the painting, taking note of the lounge chair he’d already splashed on the canvas. Behind me, close to the wall and in front of a colored backdrop, sat the same chair. He’d been prepping for this today—or when I’d been gone. Waiting for me to pose for him.

  There was a robe on the chair, tossed across the end—also waiting. My heartbeat picked up when I remembered the painting in the store downstairs. The one that looked similar to this one he’d started. The man in the painting had been naked.

  I sat on the lounge chair, shaking my head. I couldn’t be too upset with Preston. At least he was trying to talk to me—to tell me things. I was still keeping my family a secret from him, and that was what I’d come here to talk to him about. Eventually.

  Maybe after I’d crawled into his bed and let him fuck me until my body was loose and words came more easily.

  Preston returned with two glasses of some dark liquid. Alcohol. He spotted me on the lounge chair and his eyes darkened immediately—that same heat that seemed to always appear when he wanted me. Naked.

  I reached for the robe. “Is this for me?”

  He handed me one of the glasses and nodded. “If you’ll do this.”

  I took a sip of the drink, and then another when I realized talking was the last thing I wanted to do. I wanted to take off my clothes, feel his eyes on me while he made art.

  “Did you want to paint me in this or out of it?”

  “The robe is just to help you feel more comfortable before we start.” He kept his eyes on me as he talked. “Once we begin, I want you out of it.”

  I stood, toed off my shoes, and then handed my drink to Preston. His jaw clenched, but he didn’t say a word as I shimmied off my jeans and tugged my shirt over my head. When I stood before him in just my boxers, he exhaled.

  “Eric,” he whispered.

  He wore gray sweats, and it was easy to see his arousal through them. His cock hardened and lengthened, and it was all I could do to keep my cool. I wanted him on me and in me so bad right now, it was a physical ache.

  After I removed the underwear, standing completely naked before him, I took my drink back and pointed to the lounge chair. “Is this where you want me?”

  He swallowed, Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. “Do you really want to know where I want you right now?”

  A smile skimmed my lips. “I want you to paint me.”

  I sat on the chair and then stretched out on my side, still holding my drink. I sipped it while his eyes simmered with longing. “Like this?”

  He stepped forward, and part of me wanted him to lose control again. To rip off his clothes and shove himself so far into me I couldn’t think of anything else but how rough I wanted it.

  Preston’s lips twitched. “We’ll play it your way for now.”

  He pulled my leg up so I could rest my arm on my knee and had me tilt my head down so my features were in the shadows. Even though it was nearly dark outside the windows, he had lamps and overheads in here and right now, I didn’t think he cared how great the lighting was.

  I didn’t either.

  Preston leaned down and kissed me briefly on the lips before turning away from me to get his supplies.

  #

  I’d never painted with a hard-on before. It was distracting as hell. And hot as hell. Eric was the most beautiful man I’d ever seen. Smooth skin, hair just long enough to hang over his forehead, and long, lean limbs that I wanted wrapped around me before the night was over.

  I could probably paint every part of him from memory. I’d spent last night dreaming about it. Wrappi
ng my mouth around his impressive cock and sucking until his body trembled.

  “Are you getting distracted?” Eric asked from the lounge chair.

  He kept his body perfectly still while he lifted his glass to his lips and finished his drink. I could tell he was feeling it. His smiles had gotten wider, and he’d grown flirtier as the time passed. I could also tell he was as turned on by this as I was.

  I growled low in my throat. “You’re a tease.”

  He laughed out loud, tossing his head back this time. “You’re the one who wanted this.”

  “You want it just as bad as I do.”

  I stepped back from the canvas and let my gaze skim his body. This was a good stopping point. I couldn’t wait any longer.

  His mouth opened when I took one step toward him. And when he shifted so I could see the curve of his cock, I strode straight to the lounge chair.

  His breath caught in his throat when I hauled him up, devouring his mouth with mine. I licked slow and deep inside his mouth, tasting whiskey and desire.

  I eased back to yank off my sweats and my shirt before pulling lowering him down to his knees. “Eric.”

  His body was cool against mine, making me feel like I had a fever. I skimmed my hands down to his waist, then pulled him hard against me, pressing my dick into his stomach. A drop of pre-cum slid down my shaft, and I realized he was watching it. He licked his lips.

  “Not yet,” I said.

  I nudged him back on the chair and hooked my hands behind his knees to pull his ass to the edge. I wedged myself between his legs, and if it was possible, I got even harder at the moan that came from his lips. His cock was hard and ready for me, just like my dream.

  I breathed in deep. “I love how you smell.”

  “Preston…”

  He was practically thrumming with need, and the only thing holding me back was the unshakeable desire to make this as pleasurable for his as possible.

  I slid my hands up his thighs, skimming the skin of his balls just slightly before I lowered my head and opened my mouth.

  Eric groaned, hands reaching for me. He dug them into my hair, and there was something so fucking sexy about him holding my face to his center, begging me to fuck him with my mouth.