Toxic (The Complete Series): Contemporary Gay Romance Read online

  To let him know he was safe and loved.

  I carried Tucker back to the living room and put him on the couch. “Stay here, finish your show, and I’ll take a quick shower. Then we can see about the park—or we can play outside. Can you stay here?”

  He nodded, but he was practically bouncing on the couch.

  God, this kid had far too much energy.

  I grabbed my phone on the way back through the kitchen, then paused when I saw the text from Mason.

  I wish you would have told me. Makes me feel like you didn’t trust me. I’ll stop by to get my jacket.

  My stomach dropped. Shit. I really had messed things up.

  I peeked back in on Tucker to make sure he was still watching TV before I hurried to the bathroom to shower. I’d figure things out with Mason later, if there was even anything I could do.

  The hot water soothed my muscles, made my shoulders relax. Sometimes that was all I had. A quick shower, before I was a parent again. Before I had to rush to work.

  These moments to myself were few and far between. And forget dates—or any kind of spontaneity. Everything had to be planned in advance. And even then, just like last night, it didn’t always work out.

  I soaped my body, letting my hand run down my abdomen. An image of Mason appeared in my mind, followed by the sexy curve of his lips and the small dimple on one cheek. Even with that simple vision in my head, I was already halfway hard.

  I stroked my cock, suddenly wanting the release I hadn’t gotten last night. Figuring the least I owed him was to bring his jacket back and apologize again.

  With my hand covered in soap, I ran it the length of my cock, pumping it as it hardened. I imagined it was Mason’s hand, his fingers tightening and squeezing me, making me come for him.

  With a choked grunt, I came into my hand, my body shuddering. I leaned against the shower wall as the evidence of my pleasure washed down the shower drain.

  I gave myself another few minutes to rinse off, to take a deep breath, before I shut off the water and wrapped a towel around my waist.

  When I stepped out of the shower, I heard a voice. Tucker’s voice. It sounded like he was talking to someone. “Tucker?” I called.

  I rounded the corner to the living room, concerned when I didn’t spot him there.

  “Tucker?” I called again, walking to the hallway and then freezing when I saw him standing at the front door, talking to someone on the other side. “Tucker!”

  I didn’t care that I was only in a towel, I rushed to the door and then skidded to a stop. Tucker knew better than to open the door to strangers, but that still didn’t mean I wanted him carrying on a conversation.

  Then I peeked through the front window. He wasn’t talking to a stranger.

  He was talking to Mason.

  Chapter 7

  MASON

  I hadn’t slept in late this morning. No, I’d woken early and checked my phone, like the desperate fool I’d become.

  I wanted to hear from Ryan, even if I was still kind of shocked and a little upset about last night. What did that mean?

  So I’d gotten up, showered and tried not to think about him in the shower—which was near impossible—and then saw his text not too long later.

  I was already heading out, planning on running to get lunch, to get my mind off last night. But somehow, I’d found myself heading back to his house under the guise of picking up my jacket—when really it was just an excuse to see him.

  When I knocked on the door, I didn’t expect to hear a small voice from inside.

  “Who is it?” they asked.

  Ryan’s son. It had to be. “My name is Mason. I’m a friend of your dad’s.”

  “I can’t open the door for strange people.”

  Strangers. I couldn’t help but smile. “That’s smart. But I’d like to talk to your dad. Is he home?”

  “He’s in the shower,” came the quiet reply.

  An image of Ryan naked bloomed in my mind. I couldn’t help it. I pictured him without any clothes, the strong muscles of his chest, the strength in his thighs. His cock curving up to meet my waiting hand. I’d wanted that so bad last night.

  Then I saw a face peek through the window before the door opened. Ryan stood there, towel around his waist, but wearing nothing else.

  My throat dried. Fuck, he was hot. Just as muscular as I pictured. His dark hair was wet and a few drops of water slid down his cheek. I wanted to lick them off and then finish what we’d started last night.

  “Hi,” said the kid next to him. “I’m Tucker.”

  “I’m sorry,” Ryan said. “It’s—I mean, he’s friendly and he always wants to get the door. But he’s not allowed to open for strangers and I—I didn’t want you to have to keep waiting so I opened the door but…” Ryan glanced down and looked at his towel.

  He was babbling and I couldn’t help but smile.

  “I’m sorry,” he said again, and it felt like he meant for last night as well.

  I nodded. “I came to pick up my jacket but…” I blew out a breath and opted for the truth. “I wanted to talk, too. I know it’s not a good time—”

  “No, it’s fine.” Ryan stepped back to let me in.

  I couldn’t stop my eyes from roaming the line of his shoulders, from following a drop of water that trailed down his back and into the towel just above his ass cheeks.

  “You’re welcome to wait in the living room or the kitchen. We’ll get dressed real quick,” Ryan said, putting his hand on Tucker’s shoulder. “Help yourself to anything you want.”

  I watched them walk away, Tucker talking about how cool it was that they had company because they never had company. Maybe Ryan didn’t talk about his son with other people, too.

  But it seemed like the first thing a person would bring up when they went on a date. I wandered into the kitchen, where my jacket was neatly folded over the chair at the island.

  The cake we hadn’t eaten last night was still complete in the glass on the counter.

  I tried to see this from Ryan’s point of view. It wasn’t like I didn’t omit things or avoid topics when they were brought up on a date. I kept things light and easy—maybe that’s what Ryan had been doing, too.

  And it wasn’t like we’d had a chance to talk about everything. We’d talked over dinner and then we’d gotten too distracted for talking.

  I spotted a picture on the counter and walked over to look at it. It was a picture of Ryan and Tucker outside on a sunny day and smiling. I hadn’t even noticed it before.

  And he’d invited me to his house. It wasn’t like he was hiding his life and who he was, he was just taking time to tell me these things.

  I smiled at the picture. Tucker didn’t look like Ryan much—with a fluff of blonde hair shades lighter than Ryan’s, and a narrower nose. But how much could you really tell at this age?

  I’d put Tucker at maybe four or five. A flicker of nerves hit me. I’d never dated a man with a kid before.

  But wasn’t this the kind of thing I’d been talking to Ryan about? People growing up, moving on in their lives. And I’d been thinking of taking those steps, too. Not having kids, but trying to find someone I could commit to, rather than continuing my endless cycle of dating that hadn’t served me so well in the last several months.

  When I heard footsteps, I turned to see Tucker skidding into the room, his hair mussed and a smile in his voice.

  “Dad says I can go outside—let’s go outside!”

  I blinked at him, surprised. Were kids usually this trusting of strangers? I didn’t spend time around many kids. Maybe it was just because he was a boy.

  But, curious, I followed Tucker outside to a nice backyard with a covered patio that had plants hanging from it. A barbecue sat off to the side and there was a firepit surrounded by Adirondack chairs.

  “I have a sandbox,” Tucker said as I followed him to the yard.

  He raced to the structure, all long limbs, and jumped inside. Sand sprayed everywhere, mak
ing Tucker laugh.

  I laughed along with him and sat at the edge of the sandbox.

  “Take off your shoes!” Tucker said.

  I debated for a minute, then gave in. No reason not to. It was a beautiful day and I didn’t have anywhere to be until this evening. Besides, I hadn’t played like a kid in a long time.

  Tucker buried my feet in the sand, and when Ryan came out with sunscreen, he gave me an apologetic look.

  “Did he tell you to take off your shoes?” he asked.

  I nodded.

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “Tucker, come here. You need sunscreen.” Ryan smiled at me again, the sun making his blue eyes sparkle. “He gets bossy sometimes.”

  “I don’t mind.”

  And I didn’t. As I listened to Tucker chatter, I realized he was a bright boy, and full of energy as kids usually were at that age.

  After another ten minutes, Ryan said, “Hey, buddy. You keep playing. I’m going to talk with Mason, okay?”

  Tucker saluted to both of us, making me grin. “Yes, sir!”

  I dusted off my feet and took Ryan’s hand when he offered to help me up. His fingers were warm around mine, just as warm as they had been last night when he’d had them on my chest.

  We sat on the patio, in the shade.

  “Can I get you anything to drink?” Ryan asked.

  “I can get something if I’m thirsty. I get the feeling you don’t have much time to sit and relax.”

  He angled his chair to face the sandbox, but close enough I could reach out and touch him. “Not really. But I don’t mind. I like being busy. Or I get bored.”

  Another thing we had in common. I liked to get out and do things, go places. I wasn’t a homebody, though I could see being one if I had a nice yard like this and people to spend time with.

  “So…” He glanced over with another look of apology on his face. “About last night.”

  “I understand why you didn’t say anything.”

  “You do?”

  I nodded. “I probably wouldn’t have either. I guess I was just irritated because…”

  Ugh. How did I tell him this?

  He reached over, brushing his fingers against mine. The relief that filled me was instant and surprising. He still wanted this—to start something.

  “You can tell me,” he said.

  I linked my fingers with his, a simple but intimate gesture. “I guess I don’t normally go into dates with the same expectations I had—or maybe not expectations but a certain frame of mind.”

  “How’s that?” he asked.

  I grimaced. How did I say this in a way that didn’t make me seem like a player? Because I’d been called that more than once in the past. But that’s not how I felt with Ryan.

  “I liked you—more than I expected. And typically I just wait to see how the night goes. Keep it light.”

  He nodded. “I get it. Same with me. I’m not going to lie—that guy I was supposed to meet last week?”

  “Dirk?” I asked with a grin.

  “Yeah, him.” He squeezed my fingers. “It was just for fun. To get my mind off things. To—I don’t know—have some semblance of a life.”

  So we were on the same page. “That’s exactly how I usually am. But with you, last night…I guess I was looking forward to more. Not just a one-night stand.”

  He held my gaze. “I understand.”

  I leaned over and lowered my voice. “Don’t get me wrong, I really want to pick up where we left off last night.”

  “God, don’t tempt me.” He glanced to Tucker. “That was rough, having to stop like that. Having you leave. I wanted…”

  I locked eyes with him. “Me too.”

  “Hey, Tucker,” Ryan called. “We’re going to get something to drink. You can keep playing.”

  Tucker waved a sand toy, flinging sand everywhere, including in his hair.

  Ryan pulled me to my feet and said, “It’s not much, but at least a kiss.”

  My body heated instantly. I followed him inside, and barely had the door shut before his body was plastered against mine.

  I slid one hand to the back of his head, holding him in place while I kissed him with abandon. Our tongues clashed, hands moving everywhere all at once.

  “Fuck,” he murmured, his cock twitching against my hip. “I want you.”

  My body caught on fire. I wanted him, too. More than I’d wanted anyone. “Please tell me we can finish our date soon,” I murmured against his lips.

  His hand brushed my cock, making my body jerk. “Soon.”

  I groaned and then made myself pull back. “Stay there,” I said, panting.

  He pointed to the ground where he stood. “Right here?”

  I smiled at him. “Yes. Because if you come near me again, I don’t think I’ll be able to stop myself.”

  I wouldn’t. I’d take him right here on the hardwood floor, shoving into his tight hole to find my release. Or…letting him penetrate me. I usually topped, but something about the way Ryan took control made me want to see where it took us. To let him pound into me over and over again until we both lost it.

  He sighed and glanced out the window above the sink. “Bad timing. Sorry.”

  “Don’t apologize. It’s your life,” I said.

  Ryan swallowed and nodded. “I know. And I’d like to talk to you more about that. But now’s probably not the best time.”

  “You’re right. I should get going anyway. I have work in a few hours.”

  “I’ll call you,” Ryan said.

  I liked the sound of that. Something so simple. But it meant lot to me. This wasn’t a first date, this was the day after, and we hadn’t even slept together.

  Maybe I really was growing up.

  I kissed him again once, briefly, and grabbed my jacket before heading out, feeling much better about my day than when I’d woken up.

  Chapter 8

  RYAN

  I slid the last plate of spaghetti across the counter and wiped my hands on my apron. It was just after ten and since it was a weekday, and the restaurant was getting close to closing down.

  And not a moment too soon. I walked to the sink to wash my hands. It felt like this week was taking forever.

  I couldn’t stop thinking about Mason. I had to wait until this weekend to see him and it was nearly killing me. But it was hard to find a window of time to spend together—especially since I wasn’t sure how he felt spending time with Tucker.

  That wasn’t exactly romantic having a kid around. But it was my life.

  Once I’d taken off my apron and said goodbye to the staff, I walked outside and got in the car just as my phone dinged with a text.

  I peeked at the screen and grinned when I saw the message. It was from Mason. Is it Friday yet?

  I wished. Only two more days. And it was agony.

  Instead of answering him, I set the phone aside and drove away from the restaurant in the opposite direction I normally went. It was a short ten-minute drive to Toxic.

  I didn’t want to wait to see Mason anymore. And since I’d gotten off early and Tucker was probably already asleep, I had a few minutes to spare. My babysitter was a saint and kept her evenings open for me often to help with Tucker. I paid her well for it because she was so accommodating.

  When I reached the bar, I stepped outside, realizing I hadn’t been back since the last time I’d been stood up. It felt strange coming here for another reason besides dating or drinking.

  Inside, the band played a song I’d never heard—maybe something original—and I walked to the bar when I spotted someone familiar. One of the guys I saw there frequently.

  “Hi,” I said. “I was hoping Mason was around.”

  He grinned. “Are you Ryan?”

  I blinked. Had he talked about me? Or maybe the other bartender, Bea, the one I was friendly with, had said something.

  “I am.”

  The man held out his hand. “I’m Tate—Mason’s partner. He told me about you.”

&nbs
p; “He did?” The thought warmed me. It felt nice to be talked about. Nice because Mason cared.

  “He did. He doesn’t normally talk about his dates, so I listened. He’s actually back in the office working—I can show you.”

  Tate was cute, and I put two-and-two together as I followed him away from the noise and to a quieter hallway.

  “Are you the recently engaged business partner?” I asked.

  Tate stopped at the door to turn to me. “I am. Guess Mason talked about me, too.”

  I laughed. “He did. Congratulations.”

  “Thanks.” He opened the door and peeked his head in. “You decent?”

  My mouth dropped open, but then I heard Mason’s joking response. “Very funny.”

  Tate opened the door wider and let me in. “You have a visitor.”

  Mason stood when he saw me. “Ryan. This is a surprise.”

  “A bad one or a good one?” I asked, glancing at Tate.

  “A good one. Of course.” He smiled at Tate. “Thanks.”

  “Was that a dismissive ‘thanks’?” Tate asked. “Because I’d love to sit and talk.”

  Mason walked to the door and ushered him outside. “You’re dismissed,” he said before shutting the door.

  “I’m sorry if I interrupted something,” I started.

  Mason grinned. “You interrupted me staring at my phone waiting for you to text back. This is better. Please tell me you’re here to distract me.”

  “Do you need a distraction?”

  “Desperately.”

  I went slow, taking his face in my hands and giving him a soft kiss. “Better?”

  “Tease,” he murmured.

  I laughed.

  He gestured to the couch on the opposite wall. “Have a seat. Or—were you just here for a few minutes?”

  “No. I mean, yeah, I can’t be long. I have to get home soon, but I didn’t want to wait until this weekend to see you.” I sat with him on the couch. “I wanted to explain.”

  “Explain what?”

  “My situation. With Tucker.”

  Confusion settled on Mason’s features. “What do you mean?”

  “Tucker’s not mine.” I waited for the words to settle in before I continued. “He was my sister’s kid. She…she had a drug addiction.” I stared at my hands. I hardly ever talked about this with anyone, but I felt like I needed to tell Mason. “I—I’m telling you this so you understand why I’ll drop everything at the drop of a hat for Tucker. He—he didn’t have a good childhood.”