Toxic (The Complete Series): Contemporary Gay Romance Read online

  Mason took my hand and squeezed it. I appreciated the support.

  “She didn’t take care of him,” I continued, “and I should have been there more. He was so small and quiet and—” I shook my head. “I hate myself for not being there.”

  Mason lifted my chin with his fingers. “I’m not going to listen to you berate yourself for that. It sounds like she wasn’t doing her job as a parent. Her job, not yours.”

  I swallowed and met his eyes. “I still regret not being there more. She—she overdosed two years ago.”

  Mason’s lips parted, but he didn’t respond.

  “She died and left Tucker to me.”

  Mason lifted my hand to his mouth and kissed my fingers. “This makes sense. I completely understand why being there for him, being the best dad you can be, is what you need to do.”

  “I just…that’s why I have to spend time with him—why I can’t leave him with a sitter too often. And I know that’s not romantic spending time with a five-year-old—”

  “What’s unromantic about a sandbox?” he asked with a smile.

  The words made me laugh. I was relieved enough to push out the rest. “Yeah, so…I guess this is why I don’t tell guys I’m a dad. At least not right away. And when they do know, well…they tend to want to get out fast.”

  “If it makes you feel any better, I’m not one of those guys.” He squeezed my fingers. “In the past, maybe. I liked to keep things light. But this isn’t one of those times.”

  I knew he was a player—but wasn’t that what had drawn me to him in the first place? A quick roll in the sheets? A one-night stand?

  But he was assuring me that wasn’t how it was in this situation, and I believed him.

  “Tomorrow I have to be home with Tucker—we’re having our pizza night and watching a movie, but the next day—”

  “I like pizza,” Mason said.

  My mouth opened in surprise. “You mean…come over and watch with us?”

  “Sure. I mean—I just invited myself to your house. Sorry.” He shook his head. “And of course you guys want your time and—”

  “No. I want you there.”

  “Really?” Mason asked.

  The hope on his face made me even happier to have him. “Yes. Come. His babysitter wanted to take him for ice cream afterward and we could have a little time alone…you know, uninterrupted.”

  His free hand slid down my arm and then turned my chin to face him so he could press his lips against mine. “Uninterrupted time sounds good.”

  I kissed him back and then forced myself to stand. “Tomorrow, then?”

  He nodded. “I’ll see you there.”

  Chapter 9

  MASON

  I was getting ready to head of my apartment the next night when I heard a knock on the door.

  With a frown, I grabbed the handle. I wasn’t expecting anyone.

  When I opened it, my body froze. “Holy shit,” I murmured.

  “Hi to you too,” Travis said, giving one of his charming smiles that used to make me melt.

  Now, it just made me grit my teeth. I hadn’t seen Travis in six years—not since I found out he cheated on me and left me with a broken heart.

  It took a minute for me to register what was happening, that he was standing here smiling at me like nothing had happened between us.

  “What do you want?” I asked, stepping out and closing the door behind me.

  “I haven’t seen you in a while. I wanted…” He shrugged. “To catch up. To say hi.”

  “Well, you’ve said it,” I told him. I walked down the stairs in the apartment building, irritated when he followed me. “I can’t talk now. I have somewhere to be.”

  “Wait.”

  But I didn’t stop until we were on the sidewalk outside. He nearly bumped into me when I turned.

  “Travis. I really don’t have time for this.”

  “Please,” he said, eyes locking on mine.

  He still looked the same, almost identical to how he’d looked when I’d first seen him at a club seven years ago. I was just out of college and high on life. Travis was there, looking sexy and confident. I’d fallen for him hard and fast.

  Too fast. But I hadn’t known what love could feel like. Or maybe it was just infatuation, because I got over him fast when I discovered his infidelity.

  We’d been talking about marriage—about getting engaged—and then I’d discovered his secret. The worst part was that he hadn’t even apologized back then. He’d been cheating on both me and Tate and he hadn’t given a damn. He’d probably moved on to someone else the next night.

  “Two minutes,” I told him.

  “Like I said, I just wanted to catch up. I’ve been thinking about things, going over what happened and…” He shifted from one foot to the other. “I’m sorry.”

  My jaw clenched. Sorry didn’t feel like anything to me now. I’d moved on.

  He reached out and touched my arm. “Come on, Mason. We were good together—can we just talk?”

  I started to shake my head, but he smiled. “Please? Just talk. Here—let me give you my number.”

  He snatched the phone from my hand and started typing in his number. “Coffee or drinks. Nothing big. I’d love to hear how things are going for you. I heard you opened a bar.”

  I plucked the phone from his hand when I saw him sending himself a text. Fuck, now he had my number, too. “I need to go.”

  “Of course. I’ll be in touch.”

  I ignored that and got in my car. That was the last thing I wanted. Travis was old news and I didn’t care what was going on in his life or why he was here. I just wanted to have a nice evening.

  But I still got there a few minutes late. I hurried to the door, smiling when I knocked and heard a voice on the other side.

  “Who is it?”

  “Mason,” I answered.

  “You’re late,” Tucker said.

  I winced. “I’m sorry. I had a distraction.”

  He opened the door with a smile. “Dad said I could let you in.”

  Ryan smiled from behind him. They might not look very similar in any other way, but their smiles were the same.

  “Thought you might have changed your mind,” Ryan said after he shut the door.

  “I didn’t, I swear. I was heading out my door in enough time to make it here and…” I bit my tongue. I didn’t want to talk about Travis. I just wanted to move on. “I got a visit from an old friend.”

  “Oh, really?”

  I waited until Tucker ran to the living room and then pulled Ryan forward in a kiss, forgetting about Travis. “I’m glad I’m here.”

  “I’m glad you’re here, too. Tucker has been waiting at the door for you for thirty minutes.”

  A flicker of guilt traveled through me. No wonder Ryan didn’t want to tell people about his son—or have people around him. If they didn’t follow through on their promises, it wasn’t just Ryan who was hurt—it was Tucker, too.

  “I really am sorry,” I murmured.

  He touched my cheek. “I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad. Just saying—Tucker’s happy you’re here, too. He’s got the movie ready and pizza’s on its way.”

  I breathed him in and then sighed. “You smell good.”

  “Just soap,” he said with a smile. “From a good, long shower.”

  “Fuck. You’re killing me.”

  With a laugh, he gestured to the living room. “Movie time.”

  Tucker sat between us, his eyes riveted on the movie almost the whole time. He had a better attention span than I expected. I couldn’t focus on the movie. Ryan had his arm relaxed on the back of the couch, and he wouldn’t stop touching my shoulder, my cheek, my hair.

  It was all I could do to sit still.

  When the doorbell rang two hours later, Tucker leaped from the couch. “Ice cream!”

  Ryan followed him out of the room, saying, “I’ll be back.”

  I listened to him talk to the babysitter while leaning
back on the couch and closing my eyes. I could get used to this. Family time.

  My eyes flashed open. Family time? My stomach fluttered with nerves. I’d never thought that before. Never even considered having a family. I mean, sure, I figured it might happen one day, but it had never been a goal.

  Now I was already picturing it in my head and it felt good. Scary, but good.

  Ryan walked back into the room and I pulled him over to stand in front of me.

  “Was that okay? Me being here?” I asked.

  He stepped between my thighs and ran his hands through my hair. “Yes. It was good. It felt right. I think Tucker really likes you.”

  I set my hands on his hips. “And?”

  “And what?” he asked with a smile.

  “It sounded like you were going to say something else. He really likes me, but…”

  “It’s me. My mind. This is new territory for me. It makes me nervous—even though right now there’s nothing to be nervous about.”

  “It’s natural to be concerned about the future. Especially because you’ve got someone else involved.” I pulled him down to kiss him. “You’re a good dad.”

  “That’s a nice thing to say.”

  “It’s true.”

  A slow smiled spread across his face. Ryan seemed like the kind of person who would be just as flattered by a compliment about him being a good dad as he would about him being a good chef. Those two were both very important to him and he took both seriously.

  “Can I help your nerves?” I asked, sliding my hands under his shirt.

  He exhaled a long, slow breath and then flashed another smile. “We have forty minutes.”

  “I can work with that,” I told him with a wicked grin.

  I’d done a lot in a shorter amount of time. But that didn’t mean I didn’t want more. I wanted to take my time with Ryan. Get a feel for what he really liked. I wanted to kiss every part of his body and feel every hard plain, every soft dip, every inch of the tight space I wanted so badly to be inside of right now.

  “Come here,” I whispered, pulling him down onto my lap.

  He laughed at the motion, but straddled me, smile fading when he looked into my eyes.

  “You’re an amazing person, you know that?” Ryan asked.

  I blinked. “Why do you say that?”

  He ran his thumb along my jaw, then brushed my lips. “You make me feel things that I never thought I’d feel. You make me have hope for the future. And you’re supportive of me and my time with Tucker. It means a lot.”

  I swallowed, his words working their way into my heart. I thought the same of him. “Well, you mean a lot to me.”

  The words made him smile again. Realizing we were running out of time, I gave him a rough kiss. “Time’s running out.”

  He gave a laugh that quickly turned into a moan when I started unbuttoning his jeans.

  Chapter 10

  RYAN

  Mason kissed with a passion I wanted to match beat for beat. His tongue plundered my mouth, searching every space, tangling with my tongue and making me want more and more.

  His hands fumbled at the button on my jeans. In the back of my mind, I kept thinking about Tucker and how he’d be back soon, and knew I needed to make time for me and Mason some other way.

  More time so we could really experience each other.

  For now, we ran our hands over each other fast, taking what we could get.

  “Lay down,” he murmured, twisting so I could lean back on the couch.

  I did what he asked, then closed my eyes as he kissed his way down my stomach and lingered above the lip of my jeans.

  “I want to taste you,” he breathed.

  The heat of his breath touched my stomach and made me shiver in excitement.

  He took that as assent and tugged down my jeans, bringing my boxers with them. My cock sprung free, hard and ready for him.

  I opened my eyes to take in the look on his face, the hunger in his eyes as he ran his gaze over me.

  I was letting him have his turn now, but soon I’d get my chance to see him naked. To have my mouth on him and feel him inside of me. Or maybe even feel myself come inside of him.

  “Mason,” I said, the words coming out in a gasp when he slid both hands down my thighs and then back up, his fingers brushing my sac.

  “Just relax.”

  I couldn’t relax, only writhe in blissful agony as his hands made another circuit, moving so, so close to my cock but not touching it.

  Then he leaned down to press a kiss to my lips and I shut my eyes again, loving the feel of his mouth on mine.

  He broke the kiss to travel lower, flicking his tongue against one nipple and making my breath hitch.

  His hands smoothed their way over my hips as he continued to brush his lips on my body. Down to my abdomen, to the short crop of hair above my cock, and then softly over the head of my dick.

  My lips parted, the feel of his mouth exquisite on me.

  When I felt his tongue on me, I gripped the couch cushions. I was so hard I could feel the veins pulsing. The throbbing inside of me, longing for a release.

  Then his mouth closed over me, and I died a little.

  “Oh, god,” I gasped, loving the wet heat encasing me.

  His sucked me in further, taking me clear to the back of his throat.

  “Fuck. Mason—don’t stop. That feels so good.”

  His hands still wandered as he sucked me off, touching my heated flesh. And when he started to move faster, he wrapped his fingers around the base of my cock to pump at the same time so all of me was sheathed in him.

  It built inside me even as I tried to hang on, to make the moment last. But it had been so long, and Mason already had me so worked up I could barely function.

  “Yes,” I gasped.

  He hollowed his cheeks and sucked harder. My body bowed off the couch and tensed as it hit me. I came in his mouth, my hips bucking against him as I emptied myself.

  With my heart still slamming against my ribs, Mason lay on top of me, his cheek against my chest.

  The sudden and vulnerable gesture had emotion swamping me. I wrapped my arms around him, holding him to me. There was something almost erotic being completely naked under someone who was entirely clothed.

  “How do you feel?” he asked after a moment, his breath tickling my skin.

  “Amazing.” I checked my watch. “I wish we had more time.”

  Amusement sounded in his voice. “Me too.”

  I shifted under Mason, and we both moved to sit up. “Let’s do it, then. Let’s make time.” I met his eyes. “I want more of you. Without having to rush.”

  His eyes swept my chest, then moved lower. Even his gaze was erotic, making me come alive again. “Yes, let’s do that. Give me a time and a day. I’ll make you dinner and you can stay at my place. No distractions.”

  I nodded. “It’s a date.”

  ***

  We didn’t see enough of each other as I would have liked. With both of our schedules and Tucker to make sure I spent time with, I mostly talked with Mason on the phone. But he still came over in the mornings a few days and played with Tucker in the backyard.

  Tucker was growing more and more fond of Mason, and I couldn’t blame him. I was heading in the same direction.

  Getting stood up for my last date had been the best thing that had ever happened to me.

  Tucker was visiting his grandma today on my day off, and it gave me time to catch up on housework while I was sure he was safe and with someone he loved. I was endlessly grateful for my mom taking him when she did but tried not to abuse the privilege.

  Fortunately, Tucker loved it.

  After I put his laundry away, I checked my watch. The housework was almost one and all I really wanted to do was see Mason before Tucker got back.

  When my phone rang and I saw my mom’s number, a flicker of alarm hit me. “Hello?”

  “Hey, hon.”

  “Is everything okay?”


  She laughed. “Of course. I was just checking in.”

  My shoulders drooped in relief. I wasn’t sure when it would stop. Always being worried something was wrong with Tucker. Maybe when I got more used to him visiting my mom. Or being at the sitter. Or spending time with anyone else but me.

  “Tucker wanted to tell you we made cookies,” she said. “Here he is.”

  Tucker came on the line, his childish voice high and excited. “We made cookies! With sprinkles!”

  “Really? Wow. Sounds like you guys are having fun.

  “And—and Grandma gave me train. Can I stay the night?”

  My mom came back on the phone while my mouth was still open in surprise.

  “I’d love to have him,” she said, “but I understand if you don’t think it’s time.”

  “No, it’s…” I sighed. I didn’t think Tucker would have a problem. It was me I was worried about. “I think he’d love that. If you’re okay with it.”

  “Absolutely! I have his extra outfit you sent in case he gets dirty, so he’ll have that for tomorrow. I can give you a call later, too, just so you know he’s okay.”

  Once I talked with Tucker again and reminded him to mind his manners, I hung up.

  Now what?

  I’d been planning on making spaghetti for dinner and inviting Mason over if he had some time before he had to get back to work.

  Instead, I texted him. You busy?

  I waited for him to respond while I finished straightening my house. When I heard my phone ding, I pulled it out of my pocket and read his message.

  Meeting in ten. But not much else after that.

  I smiled and grabbed my car keys, texting him at the same time. I thought I’d drop by and say hi.

  He sent a smiley face, making me smile, and I headed in that direction. The bar was just opening when I arrived and the band wasn’t even set up yet.

  I walked to the bar when I saw Bea. She grinned at me.