Toxic (The Complete Series): Contemporary Gay Romance Read online

  Tate chuckled. “I like Ryan.”

  “Me too.”

  Tate propped his hip on the bar. “Like?”

  I swiped my rag across the shiny surface when I spotted fingerprints. “Yes. Problem?”

  “You guys have been together for…?”

  I acted like I was doing a mental tabulation, but I knew exactly how long it had been. Five weeks. Five weeks and the best time of my life. Tucker and I were close, and I spent almost all of my free time with Ryan. I’d even visited him at his restaurant. It was about time I got him together with my friends for a formal evening.

  With Tucker, of course.

  “Five weeks,” I told Tate.

  And I’d fallen for Ryan. I couldn’t deny it.

  “I see how you are with him,” Tate told me. He checked his phone when it dinged and smiled. “It’s the same way I am with Liam.”

  It was. It was the exact same. And they were engaged. It had happened quick for Tate and it felt like it was moving just as swiftly for me. Maybe because we got a good look at what we didn’t want in life, so it made it easier to see what we truly did want.

  I sighed and turned to him. “You’re right. I love him.”

  Tate blinked. Then grinned. “I knew it. Have you told him? Has he told you if he feels the same way? You—”

  “Hold on. Wait. No, I haven’t said anything to him yet. It’s…I’m waiting for the right time. And it’s not tonight in the middle of a dinner party, so don’t you dare say anything.”

  My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I smiled, already anticipating the text from Ryan.

  Instead, it was Travis’s name that appeared on the screen.

  Tate must have seen the look on my face, because he stepped up to me as I let the call go to voicemail.

  “What the hell?” Tate asked. “Has he been doing this a lot? Calling you?”

  “No. I haven’t seen him or heard from him since the last time he came in here. I thought he was gone for good. Or at least, I hoped.”

  “Are you going to listen to the voicemail?”

  I clenched my jaw, hating that I’d ever even let Travis touch my phone. I started to delete him as a contact but paused. “No. But…”

  “What?” Tate asked. “You going to talk to him?”

  I blew out a breath and shoved my phone in my pocket. “I think I need to. I’m going to tell him to leave me the fuck alone. And to never come back here again.”

  “That’s probably for the best. I’ll go with you,” Tate said, determination in his voice.

  I nodded. Good. Two of us who didn’t want anything to do with him should send the message. “But not now,” I said. “I want tonight to go well.”

  “Let’s go, then,” Tate said. “It’s the middle of the week—it’s not going to be too busy. And Bea’s got this.”

  Bea came around the corner with her arms full of bottles. She set them on the counter. “He’s right. I’ve got this. Go. Have fun. I’ll keep everything—and everyone—order.”

  “Thanks, Bea,” I said.

  Tate and I walked to my car, the wind whipping at the lapels of my jacket. My stomach still felt unsettled, which I hated. Trust Travis to ruin something that was supposed to be a good thing.

  “Come on,” Tate said, gesturing to the car. “Don’t worry about it now. We’ll deal with Travis later. I’m looking forward to spending some time with Ryan and getting to know him better.”

  But once we got to my place, the worry intensified—especially when I saw an unfamiliar car parked outside of my building.

  “Shit,” I said under my breath. “He’d better not be here.”

  Tate frowned. “Let’s just get inside and see.”

  When we reached the top of the stairs inside the building, my stomach dropped. He was here. Travis. Leaning against the wall outside my door like he had been waiting for a while.

  “What the fuck are you doing here?” I asked.

  Tate set a hand on my arm. He might be able to deal with Travis calmly, but I was sick of this shit.

  “Wow.” Travis straightened and glanced down at Tate’s hand on my arm. “Are you guys…together?”

  “It’s none of your business!” I snapped, stepping around him to get to the door.

  Tate tried a lighter approach. “I think what he means to say is that he doesn’t want anything to do with you. And neither do I. So it would be best if you left both of us alone.”

  Travis blinked. “I just wanted to talk. It’s been so long and…” He shrugged, looking down at his feet.

  I rolled my eyes at Tate. We’d both seen his victim routine before, and I wasn’t buying it this time. I didn’t feel sorry for him one bit. I didn’t care how his life was going, I just didn’t want to be a part of it.

  “I’m sorry if things are rough for you right now,” Tate said. “Really. But it’s not something we want to be involved in.”

  I couldn’t have said it better myself. Travis might be going through something right now, but he wasn’t in either of our lives anymore. And that’s where I wanted him to stay. I was in a good place, and so was Tate.

  Travis would just have to find other friends to talk to.

  “He broke up with me,” Travis said as I unlocked the door.

  Tate sighed, glancing at me briefly before turning back to Travis. “I’m sorry about that. Maybe you should take a few days off of work or something. Get yourself back together.”

  “Come on.” Travis smiled at both of us. “We used to be there for each other. We used to have a good time.”

  “That was a long time ago. Things are different now,” I told Travis. “We have plans tonight, so I think it’s best if you go. And don’t come back.”

  He frowned, but Tate folded his arms and nodded.

  “You can’t tell me you haven’t thought about getting back together,” Travis murmured, his voice husky.

  When he shifted, my heart dropped. Liam, Ryan, and Tucker had just come around the corner, and they all stared with wide eyes at Travis.

  Ryan’s face dropped, and it nearly killed me. He grabbed Tucker’s hand and started to turn. “Maybe we should come back later, or…”

  “No, no, don’t go,” I said, pushing around Travis to go after him. “This isn’t a problem. He was leaving and—”

  “Are you sure this isn’t a problem?” Ryan asked, keeping his chin down.

  “I swear it isn’t,” I said, taking his hand. “Please come inside.”

  Liam was looking at Tate expectantly. After a moment, he turned to Ryan and Tucker and said, “I brought snacks. We should get the appetizers set up and let them finish with what they’re dealing with out here.”

  To my relief, Ryan followed them inside. Tate and I formed something like a barrier between Travis and the door.

  “We’ve moved on,” Tate told him. “It’s time you do, too.”

  Travis opened his mouth, but I held up a hand before he could speak. “Save it. We’d like you to go now. If you’re not out of this building in two minutes, I’m calling the police.”

  Tate’s eyes widened. He cast me a small smile and nodded.

  Travis huffed something under his breath but turned. “God, you guys have changed. What a waste.”

  But then he was gone, walking down the stairs and—hopefully—out of our lives forever.

  “We have changed,” Tate said quietly.

  I nodded. “And our lives are better for it.” I glanced at the door with a grimace. “Now, I just have to make sure Ryan knows it.”

  We walked back inside and found Liam entertaining Tucker with some olives and toothpicks. Ryan looked up and met my eyes. There was conflict written all over his face.

  “Can we talk a minute?” I asked him.

  He nodded, assuring Tucker he would be close by. Tucker barely even glanced up. He was having a great time with Liam, and Liam just leaned into Tate when he walked up to him. They clearly shared enough trust, or had spoken before, that Liam wasn’t worried abou
t what was going on with Travis.

  I wished Ryan shared that same trust.

  He followed me into my bedroom, and I shut the door. “I know that looked horrible, but—”

  “What was he doing here?” Ryan asked.

  “He said his boyfriend broke up with him.”

  “And he wanted to get back together with you? Or Tate?”

  I sighed. “Actually, it sounded like he just wanted something to drown his sorrows. I haven’t heard from him since the last time he came here, so I thought he was gone. But this time, he won’t be coming back. Tate and I made sure of it.”

  Ryan blew out a breath. “Okay. I believe you.”

  “Really?” I asked, surprised. I’d been hoping Ryan trusted me enough, and I realized I didn’t have any reason to worry.

  “Of course. And I can just ask Tate if I’m not sure,” he said with a smile, stepping forward and into my arms. “But I don’t need to.”

  “God,” I breathed. “I was so afraid some stupid asshole from my past was gong to fuck everything up.”

  “I think we’re okay,” Ryan said.

  I kissed him hard, and then took his face between my hands. “We’re more than okay. I love you.”

  Chapter 14

  RYAN

  The words made me freeze. Love. He’d told me he loved me. And I could see it in his eyes.

  I could feel in the way he held me and kissed me.

  When I’d gone into Toxic that night five weeks ago, I’d been looking for someone to flirt with. Maybe for a quick fling. But instead I’d found someone important.

  I’d found the man I loved.

  “I love you, too,” I told him.

  His lips parted. Then he kissed me, his tongue plunging into my mouth. Heaps of love poured from him, and it was the happiest I’d been in a long time. I had been so worried something would get in the way or this wouldn’t work out, but it turned out to be the best thing that had ever happened.

  “I’m so happy to hear you say that,” Mason said, his lips brushing mine with the words. “You have no idea.”

  “It’s been coming for a while,” I told him, brushing my thumb on his cheek. “I think it hit me out of nowhere in the shower last week.”

  “Really?” He smiled at me, eyes crinkling with the motion. “Where was I?”

  “Not there, unfortunately. I woke up and turned over, and you weren’t there. It felt strange and empty without you there, and I realized how much I loved you. And how I always wanted you to be there.”

  He gave me another kiss, more tender this time. I knew he felt the same way. But we’d been keeping boundaries for Tucker’s sake, so he wouldn’t be confused. So he wouldn’t get too attached. So we wouldn’t mess up his schedule and his comfort zone.

  But now, I wanted that to change.

  “I was thinking…maybe we could make this more permanent,” I said.

  Mason took my hands in his. “What do you mean?”

  Nerves raced through me. But good nerves, knowing I was on the brink of something exciting. “That maybe we could move in together. Get Tucker used to seeing you every day. Or—or—”

  “Yes,” Mason said without hesitation. “I love Tucker, too, you know. I want this. And it makes sense.”

  “I agree.” I wanted to linger, to kiss him and hold him and talk more about our plans for the future, but we had things to do. “We should probably get back out there.”

  Mason nodded and released me. “But we’re continuing this conversation later.”

  “Deal.”

  When we walked back to the living room, I was surprised to find Liam on the floor with Tucker, playing trains. I blinked at Tate.

  “I told them we’re going to eat soon, but they were distracted,” Tate said, setting plates on the table for our dinner.

  “They’re having fun,” Mason told me, taking my hand and pulling me to the kitchen. “Help me cook.”

  Tate joined us in the kitchen, giving me a smile. “Liam just found a new best friend.”

  “It looks like Tucker has, too.” Mason squeezed my shoulder before he turned to the refrigerator. “It still worries me that he’s not going to feel comfortable in a situation, but he’s doing so well. It makes me happy.”

  “You’re a good dad,” Tate said, glancing into the living room. “It looks like he’s well adjusted. And making friends with Liam isn’t a bad thing. They’ll play out there all night if you’ll let them.”

  “I bet.”

  Tate continued. “So…speaking of friends. I know we’ve only talked a few times, but I have a question. Feel free to say no.”

  Mason walked back over. “Uh-oh—what is he asking you to do?”

  Tate waved a hand at him. “This doesn’t involve you. You’re already part of the wedding.” He turned back to me. “I was going to ask if you think Tucker might like to be our ring bearer.”

  “Really?” I grinned. “I think he’d love that. Guess that means we’re invited.”

  Mason kissed me on the cheek. “You’re my plus one.”

  “My sister hasn’t even asked about Tucker being the ring bearer for her wedding,” I said. “But she takes forever to plan everything.”

  “I forgot your sister is getting married, too,” Mason said. “Have they set a date yet?”

  “No. And I don’t think she will until she gets the venue she wants. My mom is dying to start planning. It’s her only daughter, so…”

  Mason squeezed my arm as he passed, giving me a sympathetic smile. He knew that my other sister had passed away. But at least Tucker would get to see his aunt married. And maybe, one day…me.

  When Mason left the kitchen, Tate leaned in. “I saw that. All the talk about weddings…it’s hard not to imagine the future, right?”

  “You’re perceptive.”

  He glanced over his shoulder. “Don’t tell Mason I said anything or he’ll kill me. He told me not to talk about the future—I think he doesn’t want to pressure you.”

  “I don’t feel pressured,” I said honestly. “I love him.”

  Tate grinned. “You’re much easier to talk to than Mason. I like this.”

  “No talking about me behind my back,” Mason said when he came back into the room with Tucker trailing after him. “I promised Tucker he could help cook, too.”

  I stepped back and let them get to work, my mind filled with ideas for the future and all the good times ahead. Liam and Tate held hands and kissed beside me, and it all felt so overwhelmingly right.

  I never thought I’d have a kid and a man I loved all within a few years of each other, but it had happened.

  And when Mason picked Tucker up to set on the counter so they could cook together, my heart twisted in happiness.

  It was everything I ever wanted and never knew I wanted.

  Mason looked over, meeting my eyes from across the kitchen. He smiled and then mouthed the words, “I love you.”

  I mouthed them back, knowing I’d found my happily-ever-after.

  ALWAYS YOU

  COOPER

  Nate Perkins was the first boy I’d ever loved, and then he’d broken my heart. I never thought when I returned home that I might see him again or that those same feelings would come rushing back. I thought I’d gotten over him. I thought I’d moved on. But when I get a job at the city’s most popular bar, Toxic, not only do I see him, I realize he’s working there with his band. And he’s still as hot as ever, voice smooth as silk as he sings all the songs I remember from our youth. It’s hard not to fall for him again, but I’ll do what it takes to resist.

  NATE

  I might not have known who I was when I was a teenager, but since then I’ve embraced who I am. I’ve got a great singing career and friends who are like family. But I don’t have love. It feels like a mirage when I see Cooper again, the first time in ten years, and realize the boy I’d crushed on when I’d been young was now a man. I hadn’t been able to tell him how I really felt back then, but now I want him more than
I’ve ever wanted anyone else. But how can I get him to trust me when I’d broken his heart, and how can I set aside my feelings when I finally realize he’s the love of my life?

  Chapter 1

  NATE

  It was packed at Toxic tonight. People of all ages, genders, and races crowded the bar and the dancefloor. That was one of the things I loved about this place: How diverse it was. Everyone was welcome and just about everyone wanted to come back.

  That meant it wasn’t just young teenage girls crowded around our stage with love in their eyes and the excitement of being a groupie in their smiles. In fact, most of the crowd didn’t tend to group around the stage. They sang, they danced, they definitely drank, but we hadn’t needed security since the night we first started playing here.

  Not that we were big enough to need security most places anyway, but still, it was nice not to be crowded.

  As the horde grew rowdier, we changed our pace. There were four of us in the band Trilogy. We’d formed in high school, which felt like a million years ago, but it had been our beginning. Back when the high of playing together trumped everything else in the world.

  Even love.

  Whenever I thought too hard about our band, I always thought about my first love. Cooper Toleson. Fuck, he was cute. He’d sit on the stairs in my parent’s garage and listen as we played. He was the one who’d come up with our band name. It had been our goal in the beginning to learn at least three songs from every band we adored so we could improve our range and cover all the greats.

  One day after listening, Cooper said we should call ourselves Trilogy. It sounded a lot better than the ideas we’d come up with. Sean had wanted Monkey Butler, I think I’d wanted something like 90 Proof, and someone had tossed out a few others that were just as painful or didn’t represent our band in the way we wanted it to.

  Trilogy.

  I kind of felt guilty using the name after Cooper and I had parted ways, especially since I was fairly certain I’d broken his heart.

  But as we covered a Taylor Swift song, I realized I was the one who’d ended up brokenhearted. After all, I hadn’t ever met anyone like Cooper since our last days together.