Toxic (The Complete Series): Contemporary Gay Romance Read online

  The band already had a list Liam and Tate had gone over with us, what to play for the first dance and favorites of theirs, but the rest was left up to us. We alternated between upbeat, fun songs that everyone knew and classics that were all about love and happiness.

  And the entire time, I was watching Cooper. Watching as he danced with Bea and then joked with Liam. While he did a shot with Tate and Mason and then winced at how strong it was.

  He glanced over at me with a laugh and I returned it with a gentle smile. If I didn’t get out there soon to spend time with him, I was going to kick myself later.

  When we finished the song, I nodded at Sean and he smiled and nodded back.

  Time for a break.

  I left the band and stepped off the stage as Sean started the next song. He was decent on vocals and sang backup a lot. He was going to do just fine.

  Then I found Cooper on the dancefloor with Bea.

  “Can I steal him?” I asked her.

  She grinned. “It’s about time.”

  “I was thinking the same thing,” I said, my eyes on Cooper’s. It wasn’t just about tonight, it was about our whole history. It had taken a while for me to get my act together but I was finally here, doing what I wished I’d done years ago.

  I held out my hand and Cooper took it. “Would you like to dance?”

  His gaze flickered to the band and then back to me. “You don’t have to be up there?”

  “No, Sean’s taking over for a few songs. And the first one is a good one.”

  I asked Sean to play one of my favorites, a song Cooper and I had listened to a lot back in high school. A song that had always reminded me of him.

  I wrapped my hand around his waist and pulled him to me. I breathed him in, my eyes closing briefly. “You smell good.”

  He set his hand on my shoulder like he was awkwardly trying to figure out how to dance with me. “So do you.”

  The song started and he blinked up at me. “Did you tell him to play this?”

  I nodded. “A good memory.”

  “It is,” he said quietly.

  I slid my hand up to his back to press him closer to me. “Are you okay?”

  He cleared his throat. “Yes. I’m fine. It’s just this—all of this—was…touching. I’ve never been to a gay wedding before, you know.”

  “No?”

  He shook his head. “Most of my friends were straight or already married.”

  “It was a nice ceremony.”

  “They look really good together,” he said as I spun him in a circle. Then he looked up at me. “When did you do it?”

  “Do what?” I asked.

  “Come out? I mean, this is clearly a comfortable lifestyle for you now. You don’t hold back who you are.”

  “Oh.” Of course he’d want to know. And he was probably wondering why it couldn’t have been sooner—like back when he’d told me how he felt. “In college about halfway through the first year. I had a good group of friends and they probably already knew before I said anything. It wasn’t hard with them, and all the sudden, that’s just who I was. I told my parents—that was harder—but everyone else just accepted it and carried on. I should have called you then.”

  He shrugged. “It’s in the past, right?”

  “Is it?”

  His gaze held mine for a long moment and then he rested his cheek on my shoulder, a gesture so vulnerable and sweet, my heart clenched. “It is for me,” he murmured.

  I pressed him closer and didn’t say another word until the song was over. Just to be able to hold him like this without fear or anxiety meant the world to me. And that he let me do it without hesitation blew my mind.

  When the song ended, he looked up at me again. “Can you come to my place tonight?”

  A thrill of longing and arousal raced through me instantly, making my cock throb. “Yes.”

  He quirked the corner of his lip, pumping me full of more desire. “Good.”

  Chapter 10

  COOPER

  The whole night felt like a dream. Dancing with friends, watching couples in love all over the place, and falling a little myself.

  When Nate danced with me, there wasn’t much else to worry about. It felt perfect, being in his arms and turning around and around on the dancefloor. He wasn’t shy about showing how he felt and it kept shocking me. He kept touching me and whispering things to me, trying to be close.

  I would have died to have him treat me that way when I was younger, and now it was happening.

  I wasn’t going to lie. It scared me—just a little—how close we were growing. And how quickly. Not only that, but how single-mindedly he was pursuing me. It scared me because I was afraid it would all end before I had a chance to really experience it. Especially if I kept holding back.

  Which was why I was letting it all go tonight. No more worries about the past or what might happen now. I trusted that Nate was a different person and that meant believing that we might have our chance at a happy ending.

  Nate drove us to my place since I’d come in with Bea. It was the first time I’d had anyone over since I’d moved in, and it felt good that it was Nate.

  He looked handsome as fuck in his dark suit, his hair just long enough to touch his collar. He’d even taken his suit jacket off early on in the night to put on his leather jacket, the one he always sang in.

  When I danced with him, it smelled like memories.

  But now he removed it and set it aside when we entered my apartment.

  “I like it,” he said. “Where do you draw?”

  I led him to the corner, where the most light came in during the day. My work station was messy, filled with paper and sketching pencils. I also had a computer off to the side and a few mockups hanging on the wall. Projects I was working on for other people.

  “It suits you,” he said, looking at the sketches. “I’m glad you get to do something you love.”

  I smiled at him. “You know how it is. It’s hard to make a living in the arts. We both have to deal with it. But it’s worth it.”

  “It is. I don’t know what else I’d be doing if I wasn’t singing.” He grinned. “Maybe I’d be an accountant.”

  I laughed. “I know how bad you are with numbers. I don’t think anyone would hire you.”

  “That’s why I always had you help me with my math. I learned more about algebra in one afternoon with you than I did the entire semester with Mr. Pierce.”

  The memory hit me hard, us studying in his bedroom after school one afternoon. His Algebra book was balanced in my lap and I was trying to show him which problem he needed to work on. He leaned in to see where I was pointing and then hovered there, his mouth just inches from my own.

  I hadn’t had the guts to go for it that day. To set aside my fears and press my lips to his.

  “It’s different now,” Nate murmured, clearly thinking the same thing. He lifted my chin with one finger so I’d meet his eyes. “I promise.”

  “I know. I wasn’t—“ I shook my head and gave him a smile. “I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad. I was just…”

  “Wondering what would have happened?” he asked. I nodded. “I did the same thing. That night, in bed, I wondered what it would feel like to have your mouth on mine. To be able to touch you without any worries.”

  I exhaled, a sweet ache traveling through my body. “Now you don’t have to worry.”

  His eyes flashed with heat before he leaned in to kiss me fiercely. His hands were just as frantic, smoothing over my cheeks, then down my arms, and then back up to run through my hair.

  Desire raced through me, making me hard. “Nate,” I gasped.

  “Yes?”

  “I want you.”

  I did. I wanted all of him. I wanted him covering me with his body. I wanted him inside of me, driving me crazy with his mouth and his hands.

  “Fuck,” he hissed, pulling back to meet my eyes. His were blurry and full of heat and need. His lips were swollen from the kiss and his ch
est was heaving. “I’m so glad you said that.”

  Then he kissed me again, his tongue mingling with mine in an erotic dance. When his hands dropped to my shirt to undo the buttons, my brain hitched. Oh, shit. What if I wasn’t good enough for him? What if I’d built it up so much in my mind that it could never be the way I imagined it?

  “What?” Nate asked.

  “I just…” I gave him an apologetic smile. “I just suddenly got a little nervous.”

  His eyes went soft. “Cooper.” He kissed the corner of my mouth. “Please don’t be nervous. You don’t know how badly I want this—to see you, to be with you. It’s going to be good.”

  He moved his lips to my ear, and it sent shivers down my spine. “Where’s the bedroom?”

  Another thrill of excitement and anxiety raced through me as I took his hand and led him to the bedroom, watching his eyes as they took in the artwork on the wall and the comfortable bed.

  “It looks like you. Creative and fun, but comfortable,” Nate said.

  When he turned back to me, he brought my hand to his mouth and kissed my knuckles. The action almost made me melt. He was slowing things down, giving me more romance.

  Maybe that was all I needed because when his mouth touched mine again, I started to relax. I moaned when his lips traveled across my jaw, soft kisses that tickled me and aroused me at the same time.

  I undid the buttons on his shirt and then pushed it off his shoulder. Then I stepped back. I had to look at him, really see him. To get my fill since I was finally here with him and able to touch him without any repercussions.

  His chest was toned, arms muscular, and his abs—God, I wanted my mouth there.

  He gave me a tender smile. “Take off your shirt.”

  I did as he requested, dropping my shirt on the floor and letting him get his fill, too. It completely turned me on that he couldn’t seem to take his eyes off of me.

  When he unbuttoned his slacks, my throat went dry. Fuck. This was hot. It sent a wave of desire straight to my cock, making it lengthen in my pants. He was more comfortable with this than me, which was amusing considering I’d known who I was longer than he had.

  But once Nate had his mind set on something or knew the truth, he embraced it. He’d clearly grown comfortable with who he was and who he liked. What he wanted.

  When he pulled off his slacks, taking his boxers with them, my mouth watered. He straightened again and his cock rose up between us, thick and hard, pulsing with his arousal. A drop of pre-cum glittered on the end.

  “Come here,” he murmured.

  I automatically stepped into his embrace. His lips met mine again and I pressed my body against his so I could feel his hard cock pressing against my belly. Waiting to enter me.

  He wedged his hands between us to undo the button on my pants. With the feel of his dick sliding against me, the nerves fell away and longing took over.

  I reached down to stroke his cock, marveling at its velvety smoothness.

  Nate moaned. “Cooper. That feels so good.”

  My name on his tongue, coupled with the hoarseness of his voice, made my cock twitch. Nate shoved down my pants so he could touch me as well. When his hand closed over my hard length, I shuddered.

  This was the stuff fantasies were made of.

  And it was Nate, the only boy I’d ever had a crush on, now a man who could still almost bring me to my knees.

  I swiveled around so I could grab condoms and lube from the dresser and tossed them on the bed. Nate’s eyes bore into mine.

  “I want to be inside of you,” he whispered. “Is that okay?”

  His words gave me chills. I wanted him driving into me until we both shattered on the bed.

  He nudged me over, and I sat down, adrenaline racing through me. Nate stood before me, his body toned and tight, and all mine.

  “That’s okay.” I gave him a smile before he climbed on the bed with me and made all my dreams come true.

  Chapter 11

  NATE

  Seeing Cooper lying on the bed before me made my brain short-circuit. Never in a million years would I have believed I’d be here with him. Everything about him turned me on, making me want to rush to be inside of him and also to savor this moment—like it might vanish at any second.

  I put on a condom and opened the lube to squeeze some onto my hand. Cooper watched, his observant eyes following my every movement. Every once in a while, his gaze would dip to travel down my body. To linger on my cock.

  It was so erotic, I almost came before I was even inside of him.

  I braced one hand next to him so I could lean down and press a kiss to his lips before I eased his legs apart. I slid my fingers along his rim, watching his face contort with pure pleasure.

  Then I slid one finger inside, preparing him and pleasuring him at the same time. His head fell back on the bed, neck arching. I placed a kiss there while adding another finger into his hole.

  His breath caught at the feel of it.

  “You’re tight,” I murmured. It made my dick ache just thinking about how hard he was going to clench around me.

  “Please,” he said on an exhale. “I want you inside of me.”

  He didn’t have to tell me twice. I shifted between his legs and aimed my cock at his entrance. Then I penetrated him.

  I slid in slowly, taking my time, savoring the feel of his tight hole and dying a little with every inch because I was so sensitive.

  When I bottomed out, his eyes shut, lips parting at the exquisiteness we were both feeling right now.

  It was too much and not enough at the same time. I reached out to grip his cock and had the pleasure of feeling it twitch in my hand. Pre-cum leaked from the tip, making my mouth water.

  Another time, I’d get my mouth on him. I’d make him come that way, making his body fall apart with only my lips and tongue.

  Cooper moaned as I started to pump into him, running my hand up and down his shaft at the same time.

  “Nate,” he gasped. “That feels so good.”

  His words gave me purpose, made me keep spearing him over and over, knowing his nerves had vanished and he was simply feeling right now. I wanted this for him more than for me. To foster this connection so he could see I was his body and soul.

  I was his.

  His breathing quickened, telling me he was close. I pumped faster, holding back my own orgasm so I could make him come first. My hand moved to the same rhythm on his hard cock, pleasuring him in both ways.

  Then his breath hitched and his body tensed. The next moment, he came hard and fast, clenching around me and making me shoot over the edge. His cock pulsed in my hand as he emptied and I leaned over him, body shuddering as my own orgasm shook me to my core.

  “Nate,” he gasped, hands clenching on my arms. “Oh, God—that—”

  He broke off, unable to complete the sentence.

  When I’d finished, I eased out of him and lay by his side, turning my head so I could watch his face.

  It was so animated, full of wonder and bliss and something like surprise.

  “That was better than I’d ever imagined,” he said, still breathless.

  I turned onto my side. My cock brushed his leg and I stilled for a moment, still so sensitive I was almost ready to come again.

  “You imagined that?” I asked, giving him a smile.

  He looked over, cheeks red. “Yes.”

  “When we were younger or recently?”

  “Both.”

  I ran my finger down his cheek and then kissed him. “Me, too. I imagined it this morning before the wedding. What you would look like in your suit—and what you would look like out of it. It made my morning interesting.”

  “Really?”

  I rested my hand on his chest. “I still don’t think you believe me. I don’t think you realize how much I truly wanted this. Wanted you. I know I didn’t give you any reason in the past—”

  “No, no—it’s not that. I mean, sure, those feelings were left over
, but I think it’s just me. You’re attractive and charming. I’m sure you have guys after you all the time.”

  I shook my head. “Not all the time. Not lately for sure. I’ve been waiting to really feel something for someone and then you came back. All those feelings from the past came back and new ones developed and that…God, that made it hard for me to keep my hands to myself. I wanted you the moment I saw you again.” I smiled at him. “Believe it or not. I want you again right now, and I’m going to want you again tomorrow.”

  His lips parted. “I don’t know what to say to that.”

  I chuckled. “You don’t have to say anything. How about a shower?”

  “Together?”

  God, he killed me. Cooper was so innocent yet so worldly at the same time. I never knew what to expect from him, only that it would be genuine.

  “If that’s okay,” I whispered. “I’ll clean you off.”

  His eyes swooped shut briefly. “I don’t know if I can handle your hands on me again. I might not survive.”

  With another quiet laugh, I pulled him to his feet. “I’ll keep my hands to myself unless you say otherwise.”

  He led me to the bathroom, where he started the shower and stepped inside once it warmed. I removed the condom and stepped inside behind Cooper.

  I’d said I’d keep my hands to myself, but I didn’t want to. He looked sleepy and sated and completely cute.

  “Shampoo?” I asked. He nodded. I put some in my hand. “Is this okay?”

  With his eyes closed, he made a noise of approval. I put my hands in his hair, lathering the soap and smiling when he gave a soft moan.

  Then he rinsed his hair, and I watched the water and suds slide down his chest, running over his abs and to his semi-hard cock. It made me hard again watching him, waiting for him to notice how he’d turned me on.

  His eyes opened. Then lowered to my middle.

  His lips curved in his quirky smile. “I think I’ll survive,” he murmured.

  “Survive what?”

  He laughed. “Put your hands on me, Nate.”

  So I did.

  Chapter 12

  COOPER

  My phone rang when I was pulling into the lot at Toxic. It had been a busy week, with calls coming in frequently for new clients or old ones with new projects. I’d been so focused on work, I’d barely had time to see Nate.